It does sound like counseling, either individual or couples or both, would be ideal for you. He is saying that he wants to move past this issue, and I would think he would want to...much easier said on his part, than done on your part! You may never be able to "get past this", and certainly will never be able to completely "forget" what happened.
You do have choices to make, and you can feel empowered (and not a victim) by your choices. You can decide to stay with him and let time heal your hurt; you can decide to stay with him as long as you and/or you both receive counseling; you can decide to "get past this" and "move on"...but on your own. These are all great choices, and only you can decide; the decision can be day-by-day, too.
I wish you the best, and like you said...you can't control your dreams or nightmares, and you can't control your emotions. You can manage your emotions, focus on the positive, and get some extra support through counseling or a support group. Let us know if you would like help in finding either of these resources.
Please don't be hard on your self that you "should" be over this, or be able to move on. You might not be able to with him. That is OK. It is not your fault, and is a choice he made while now expecting you to live with the impact. I also do not think I would be the type of person who would be able to "move on" and "forget"; I totally get when you said "it's haunting me", and I am so sorry.
What do you think your choices are from this point forward?
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It does sound like counseling, either individual or couples or both, would be ideal for you. He is saying that he wants to move past this issue, and I would think he would want to...much easier said on his part, than done on your part! You may never be able to "get past this", and certainly will never be able to completely "forget" what happened.
You do have choices to make, and you can feel empowered (and not a victim) by your choices. You can decide to stay with him and let time heal your hurt; you can decide to stay with him as long as you and/or you both receive counseling; you can decide to "get past this" and "move on"...but on your own. These are all great choices, and only you can decide; the decision can be day-by-day, too.
I wish you the best, and like you said...you can't control your dreams or nightmares, and you can't control your emotions. You can manage your emotions, focus on the positive, and get some extra support through counseling or a support group. Let us know if you would like help in finding either of these resources.
Please don't be hard on your self that you "should" be over this, or be able to move on. You might not be able to with him. That is OK. It is not your fault, and is a choice he made while now expecting you to live with the impact. I also do not think I would be the type of person who would be able to "move on" and "forget"; I totally get when you said "it's haunting me", and I am so sorry.
What do you think your choices are from this point forward?
May 23, 2010 - 1:26pmThis Comment
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