My wife has BPD and has cheated the bulk of our marriage. I foundout all at once just this year and she went straight to therapy. I do not belive that she has told me all of her affairs though and the duration and activities of each. Some she says were just making out for 4 hours at 4 am. I am not naive. She targets married me no and policemen and firefighters and college sports coaches. All married men. I have read that they pursue people that are good father types and responsible as cerrogates for her own failed neglectful and irresponsible parents. She says nothing is my fault and i am a responsible parent as such, but what they want in the beginning when you meet is a perfect father figure for her and her kids, soon enough, she turned on me that I was her actual father (only in her mind) and she started sneaking around like a teenager trying to go out with irresponsible friends that have Histrionic disorder and BPD and Bi-polarism. These women are not marriage friendly and do not judge her for her poor choices like cheating with young children and has it all at home. they are her chosen enablers rather. She admits she has it all with our marriage and kids and all. But she has a void, an emptiness that she fills with infidelity, lies, spending, binge eating and celebrity gossip fetishes. She lives in a fantasy world because the world inside her head is an eternally sad place. She was misdiagnosed with depression for a decade. She is a "cutter" and is parasuicidal to no end. Right now, I need her to stop with her lies, half-truths and convenient omissions regarding her infidelity and tell me every detail. I am in a place that i can handle it. What lasts far longer than the hurt over sex, is the hurt over dishonesty. I NEVER knew my wife to be a liar. Never. She is the most compulsive liar that I have ever known now. I deserve to know because it is killing me. She has cheated with co-workers of mine that I have unkowing rode to work with and hugged them and bought them a beer at the bar. You have to tell all if you think you will have any chance at moving forward. How else can you believe that someone is done cheating if they cannot admit to all that they have done. BPDs fear abandonment and are afraid you will leave of they tell, plus, they will do anything to hide their shame from the the ones they supposedly care about. My wife had no remorse before therapy. She told me of affair after affair with dry eyes and straight face. In order for us to take the next step to recovery, sh will have to take a lie detector test as she is not a source to be believed. I miss her. I feel bad for her because I am well-informed on the pathology of the disorder and the genetics and/or the failing of her parents. Now we have kids and we are the parents. A divorce might trigger abandonment iasues im our children and give thm onset BPD. BPD is a no-win situation for the souse for sure. I am not free if I stay or leave. Do not have kids until you are recovered. No child deserves what our children are about to go through.
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My wife has BPD and has cheated the bulk of our marriage. I foundout all at once just this year and she went straight to therapy. I do not belive that she has told me all of her affairs though and the duration and activities of each. Some she says were just making out for 4 hours at 4 am. I am not naive. She targets married me no and policemen and firefighters and college sports coaches. All married men. I have read that they pursue people that are good father types and responsible as cerrogates for her own failed neglectful and irresponsible parents. She says nothing is my fault and i am a responsible parent as such, but what they want in the beginning when you meet is a perfect father figure for her and her kids, soon enough, she turned on me that I was her actual father (only in her mind) and she started sneaking around like a teenager trying to go out with irresponsible friends that have Histrionic disorder and BPD and Bi-polarism. These women are not marriage friendly and do not judge her for her poor choices like cheating with young children and has it all at home. they are her chosen enablers rather. She admits she has it all with our marriage and kids and all. But she has a void, an emptiness that she fills with infidelity, lies, spending, binge eating and celebrity gossip fetishes. She lives in a fantasy world because the world inside her head is an eternally sad place. She was misdiagnosed with depression for a decade. She is a "cutter" and is parasuicidal to no end. Right now, I need her to stop with her lies, half-truths and convenient omissions regarding her infidelity and tell me every detail. I am in a place that i can handle it. What lasts far longer than the hurt over sex, is the hurt over dishonesty. I NEVER knew my wife to be a liar. Never. She is the most compulsive liar that I have ever known now. I deserve to know because it is killing me. She has cheated with co-workers of mine that I have unkowing rode to work with and hugged them and bought them a beer at the bar. You have to tell all if you think you will have any chance at moving forward. How else can you believe that someone is done cheating if they cannot admit to all that they have done. BPDs fear abandonment and are afraid you will leave of they tell, plus, they will do anything to hide their shame from the the ones they supposedly care about. My wife had no remorse before therapy. She told me of affair after affair with dry eyes and straight face. In order for us to take the next step to recovery, sh will have to take a lie detector test as she is not a source to be believed. I miss her. I feel bad for her because I am well-informed on the pathology of the disorder and the genetics and/or the failing of her parents. Now we have kids and we are the parents. A divorce might trigger abandonment iasues im our children and give thm onset BPD. BPD is a no-win situation for the souse for sure. I am not free if I stay or leave. Do not have kids until you are recovered. No child deserves what our children are about to go through.
December 17, 2010 - 9:33pmThis Comment
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