I think Maria gave you some really good thoughts. And I would like to add a couple.
First of all, people are different. And Maria is right -- the passion does wane somewhat when we get "comfortable." It IS very possible to love someone without being sexual -- many couples are in this position, and we get questions from quite a few women in your same position. Sometimes the lack of a sex drive has to do with stress, with depression, with low hormonal levels. Other times it is due to porn or an affair.
What you have to decide now is what is OK with you -- both in terms of his comment/attitude about your weight and in terms of what you want in a relationship. You don't feel loved without having sex, and you're not having sex, so your self-esteem was already falling. Add to that his comment about your weight, and it crushed you.
Did he ever apologize for that comment? I'm thinking not, since you don't mention it. And yet you were still "freshening up" in case he might "try something."
CurlyGirly, it doesn't sound like he's going to change the way you want him to in order for you to be happy. If he thinks that things are fine and you are miserable, that tells me that he's completely insensitive and self-absorbed here. Do you want to stay with this man if this is his true self?
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CurlyGirly,
I think Maria gave you some really good thoughts. And I would like to add a couple.
First of all, people are different. And Maria is right -- the passion does wane somewhat when we get "comfortable." It IS very possible to love someone without being sexual -- many couples are in this position, and we get questions from quite a few women in your same position. Sometimes the lack of a sex drive has to do with stress, with depression, with low hormonal levels. Other times it is due to porn or an affair.
What you have to decide now is what is OK with you -- both in terms of his comment/attitude about your weight and in terms of what you want in a relationship. You don't feel loved without having sex, and you're not having sex, so your self-esteem was already falling. Add to that his comment about your weight, and it crushed you.
Did he ever apologize for that comment? I'm thinking not, since you don't mention it. And yet you were still "freshening up" in case he might "try something."
CurlyGirly, it doesn't sound like he's going to change the way you want him to in order for you to be happy. If he thinks that things are fine and you are miserable, that tells me that he's completely insensitive and self-absorbed here. Do you want to stay with this man if this is his true self?
June 3, 2010 - 8:43amThis Comment
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