What I meant by that lingering comment was that, I was so confuse, and given I was going to loose him, at least I would have my baby in my life, even if that meant not have him be part of the child's life.
I went back and forth thinking of options, but I simply do not have the means for taking care of a child, and f I were to keep it, this child is sure to bring disgrace to the entire family given we are 1st cousins.
I know that you cant keep someone with you if they arent in love with you, as well as im so aware of so many truthful and yet harsh realities concerning my situation. The hardest part for me is acceptance, I just cant, i wish it didnt hurt so much.
Me being pregnant was the topping to that very sour cake and I wish it was different, that I could keep the baby, but I just cant, I've already made my decision. I will try and be fair, and tell him the truth, I believe he has the right to know, but there are no options other than that baby not existing.
I simply have no one close to me that I can talk about this, other than him, and thats even more complicated, because he's a very smart person, and caring, and according to him, my safety is his best interest....but I know that what he really wants is to explore, and make his family proud that he would have a girlfriend that wouldnt bring disgrace to our name.
Unfortunately, I will be going to the clinic alone on tuesday, I am very scared of how its going to go, and how I will feel afterwards. I feel truly alone,a nd I want to be strong, but I am torn, broken and feel i cant do it on my own.
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Hi Alison, and thank you for your kind words.
What I meant by that lingering comment was that, I was so confuse, and given I was going to loose him, at least I would have my baby in my life, even if that meant not have him be part of the child's life.
I went back and forth thinking of options, but I simply do not have the means for taking care of a child, and f I were to keep it, this child is sure to bring disgrace to the entire family given we are 1st cousins.
I know that you cant keep someone with you if they arent in love with you, as well as im so aware of so many truthful and yet harsh realities concerning my situation. The hardest part for me is acceptance, I just cant, i wish it didnt hurt so much.
Me being pregnant was the topping to that very sour cake and I wish it was different, that I could keep the baby, but I just cant, I've already made my decision. I will try and be fair, and tell him the truth, I believe he has the right to know, but there are no options other than that baby not existing.
I simply have no one close to me that I can talk about this, other than him, and thats even more complicated, because he's a very smart person, and caring, and according to him, my safety is his best interest....but I know that what he really wants is to explore, and make his family proud that he would have a girlfriend that wouldnt bring disgrace to our name.
Unfortunately, I will be going to the clinic alone on tuesday, I am very scared of how its going to go, and how I will feel afterwards. I feel truly alone,a nd I want to be strong, but I am torn, broken and feel i cant do it on my own.
June 6, 2010 - 3:21pmThis Comment
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