You said, "I don't know how to back up from situation I've gotten myself into because I want to tell him we cant have sex anymore unless were in a committed relationship but I dont want to come across like I'm controlling.". You are not controlling his behavior when you tell him what you are looking for in a relationship. You can't "make" him like you, or love you, or be committed to you. You can only tell him what you want in a romantic partnership, and then he gets to choose if this is also what he wants.
It is completely normal for two people to be exclusive, then breakup to date other people, and then they can each individually choose to re-commit to each other exclusively or to begin dating each other again while dating other people. Dating someone does not have to be the end-all-be-all, and you are both free to date other people, get to know them ("dating" does not have to equal "sex"!), get to know yourself in the process. Maybe he's the one for you; maybe not.
Just be honest with him, and let him know if you want to be exclusive with him, if you want to date other people and him. Let him know if you want to take things slow from today forward and not have a physical relationship with him, to see if you two can get to know each other in other ways (emotionally, spiritually, socially, mentally, intellectually). It is up to him to "pursue" you, to be honest and open with you about what he wants. He may not know what he wants, and you may not know what you want...this is also OK! Please be honest with yourself and with him, and start openly communicating about what you feel you deserve in a relationship...that's the only way you will ever get it!
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I think you've answered your own question!
You said, "I don't know how to back up from situation I've gotten myself into because I want to tell him we cant have sex anymore unless were in a committed relationship but I dont want to come across like I'm controlling.". You are not controlling his behavior when you tell him what you are looking for in a relationship. You can't "make" him like you, or love you, or be committed to you. You can only tell him what you want in a romantic partnership, and then he gets to choose if this is also what he wants.
It is completely normal for two people to be exclusive, then breakup to date other people, and then they can each individually choose to re-commit to each other exclusively or to begin dating each other again while dating other people. Dating someone does not have to be the end-all-be-all, and you are both free to date other people, get to know them ("dating" does not have to equal "sex"!), get to know yourself in the process. Maybe he's the one for you; maybe not.
Just be honest with him, and let him know if you want to be exclusive with him, if you want to date other people and him. Let him know if you want to take things slow from today forward and not have a physical relationship with him, to see if you two can get to know each other in other ways (emotionally, spiritually, socially, mentally, intellectually). It is up to him to "pursue" you, to be honest and open with you about what he wants. He may not know what he wants, and you may not know what you want...this is also OK! Please be honest with yourself and with him, and start openly communicating about what you feel you deserve in a relationship...that's the only way you will ever get it!
June 3, 2010 - 6:56pmThis Comment
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