Hi there and thanks for your helpful response. He has had sex/relationships prior to the ex, but I've never really delved into them because it's his past, etc. I do know that the ex in question stopped having sex with him the last 3 years of their marriage. I don't know if it had anything to do with her affair or if he just ceased with the foreplay on her or a combo, etc. Basically I was the first person he had sex with in over 4 years...so I chalked up his hesitancy to just needing to get his feet wet again, but now it is worrying me cause he's not taking those "baby steps" at all. When I bring it up, he acknowledges that he's still working on it.
I will have a chat with him tonight and bring up counseling. I've even given him books that I've highlighted and wrote things in like "ooh, this is a good tip -- you can't go wrong with this"....basically I've given him a fail proof method of what I like...just to help him take out the guesswork....and nothing.
Fingers crossed that the talk will go well. I keep telling myself, what if he was in an accident or physically unable to have sex with me...I wouldn't think of leaving him then. Our relationship is truly perfect in every other way...which makes this suck even more.
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Hi there and thanks for your helpful response. He has had sex/relationships prior to the ex, but I've never really delved into them because it's his past, etc. I do know that the ex in question stopped having sex with him the last 3 years of their marriage. I don't know if it had anything to do with her affair or if he just ceased with the foreplay on her or a combo, etc. Basically I was the first person he had sex with in over 4 years...so I chalked up his hesitancy to just needing to get his feet wet again, but now it is worrying me cause he's not taking those "baby steps" at all. When I bring it up, he acknowledges that he's still working on it.
I will have a chat with him tonight and bring up counseling. I've even given him books that I've highlighted and wrote things in like "ooh, this is a good tip -- you can't go wrong with this"....basically I've given him a fail proof method of what I like...just to help him take out the guesswork....and nothing.
Fingers crossed that the talk will go well. I keep telling myself, what if he was in an accident or physically unable to have sex with me...I wouldn't think of leaving him then. Our relationship is truly perfect in every other way...which makes this suck even more.
Thanks again for your advice.
June 7, 2010 - 12:18pmThis Comment
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