Monique,
I read your story and Alisons reply with interest. He is actually a sex addict. All the signs are there, and it was most likely caused by his childhood/background. Regardless of wheher or not you stay together, he needs to enter therapy and yourself as well as a co-addict. You should not have to put up with his behaviour, and its best you seperate initially, and he can proceed with rehabilitation. It will take at least a year, probably longer given his age, but please help him to seek therapy. As you said he previously helped you, and right now he cannot see how destructuve his behaviour is. His chances of recovery will be increased greatly if you are there to support him, and be with him. At the same time you need to address you previous abuse, as this will have had an influence on your choice of partner and behaviour. Also I recomend you read up on sexual addiction, to understand the power it has. He sounds as if he is already well advanced into the addiction, so honestly speaking chances of full recovery i.e. no relapses, and both of you living happily ever after are slim. But still please make sure he gets some professional help, and he is no longer in denial. Shock him if needs be, whatever it takes to make him change. He runs the risk of breaking the law, so whatever it takes, its like saving someone from drugs. Anyway well done for having the courage in standing up to him, and regardless of what you choose to do, reading up on these materials will help your recovery. If he really loves you, he will try and change.
Regards
Anon
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Monique,
August 28, 2010 - 2:05amI read your story and Alisons reply with interest. He is actually a sex addict. All the signs are there, and it was most likely caused by his childhood/background. Regardless of wheher or not you stay together, he needs to enter therapy and yourself as well as a co-addict. You should not have to put up with his behaviour, and its best you seperate initially, and he can proceed with rehabilitation. It will take at least a year, probably longer given his age, but please help him to seek therapy. As you said he previously helped you, and right now he cannot see how destructuve his behaviour is. His chances of recovery will be increased greatly if you are there to support him, and be with him. At the same time you need to address you previous abuse, as this will have had an influence on your choice of partner and behaviour. Also I recomend you read up on sexual addiction, to understand the power it has. He sounds as if he is already well advanced into the addiction, so honestly speaking chances of full recovery i.e. no relapses, and both of you living happily ever after are slim. But still please make sure he gets some professional help, and he is no longer in denial. Shock him if needs be, whatever it takes to make him change. He runs the risk of breaking the law, so whatever it takes, its like saving someone from drugs. Anyway well done for having the courage in standing up to him, and regardless of what you choose to do, reading up on these materials will help your recovery. If he really loves you, he will try and change.
Regards
Anon
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