Yes...I do think that you are attracted to other men because your boyfriend has changed, you are young, and are meeting men who are exciting, attractive, happy and outgoing. That is perfectly normal, and does not make you "bad" in any way!
It is wonderful that you would never cheat. It is important, however, to know that it is OK if you admit that your current relationship is not exactly what you had in mind for a healthy and happy relationship. You can be clear about your needs and wants in a relationship, and not "act" on any impulses with another man; if you feel you would like to date other men, it is important to talk with your current boyfriend first! I know that would be difficult, but couples break-up all the time (as you've said you both have), and they also decide to NOT be exclusive any longer and date other people. These are all normal, healthy responses.
You do not need to "fix" your boyfriend, and are not responsible for his happiness. I know you feel a big burden in doing so, but it is important to take care of yourself, your needs, and your future. Your boyfriend sounds depressed: no friends, no family, not wanting to leave the house, not getting dressed and not showering. It is important that he seek counseling for his sadness/depression, as he can not solely depend on you for 100% support. You can be a good friend and help him find resources, so that he can be an equal part in the relationship. You two do not have kids together, are not married.. you can guide him to get help, but do not need to be his sole support and life-line to the rest of the world. Take care of yourself first, as women are very often the caretakers of others.
It does sound exciting that there are some other men...that is a fun time in your life! I hope you don't spend time with someone who is not providing you with love, support, adventure and happiness...when there are many other men out there who can. You can help your current boyfriend find help, like I said, but don't lose yourself in the process.
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Yes...I do think that you are attracted to other men because your boyfriend has changed, you are young, and are meeting men who are exciting, attractive, happy and outgoing. That is perfectly normal, and does not make you "bad" in any way!
It is wonderful that you would never cheat. It is important, however, to know that it is OK if you admit that your current relationship is not exactly what you had in mind for a healthy and happy relationship. You can be clear about your needs and wants in a relationship, and not "act" on any impulses with another man; if you feel you would like to date other men, it is important to talk with your current boyfriend first! I know that would be difficult, but couples break-up all the time (as you've said you both have), and they also decide to NOT be exclusive any longer and date other people. These are all normal, healthy responses.
You do not need to "fix" your boyfriend, and are not responsible for his happiness. I know you feel a big burden in doing so, but it is important to take care of yourself, your needs, and your future. Your boyfriend sounds depressed: no friends, no family, not wanting to leave the house, not getting dressed and not showering. It is important that he seek counseling for his sadness/depression, as he can not solely depend on you for 100% support. You can be a good friend and help him find resources, so that he can be an equal part in the relationship. You two do not have kids together, are not married.. you can guide him to get help, but do not need to be his sole support and life-line to the rest of the world. Take care of yourself first, as women are very often the caretakers of others.
It does sound exciting that there are some other men...that is a fun time in your life! I hope you don't spend time with someone who is not providing you with love, support, adventure and happiness...when there are many other men out there who can. You can help your current boyfriend find help, like I said, but don't lose yourself in the process.
Good luck!
July 1, 2010 - 12:45pmThis Comment
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