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Hello NYCGirl

I am going to try to summarize your question, and I apologize for being a little blunt, but I think you need to hear it.

-Your boyfriend cheated on you, and you cheated on him, and now he refuses to trust you.
-Your boyfriend will not live with you but does not trust you to be away from him.
-This troubled relationship is costing you money, and you are getting no intimacy out of it, either.
-Your boyfriend is withholding intimacy but insists you convert to his religion.

Let me ask you this: What are you getting from this relationship? Why do you want to continue? If you can look in your heart and have a real reason other than fear of being alone, then I suggest you two enter couples counseling of some kind. You truly cannot build a relationship on a foundation of mistrust and controlling behavior, and that is what it sounds like you have here.

Telling you where you can spend your time and withholding intimacy are bad signs, as was your willingness to see someone else and not openly deal with it. Before you get into something that is hard to get out of like changing religions, marrying or having children, please get some counseling. This relationship seems to be on the verge of emotional abuse to me. We all need what we need from a relationship, and if we can't get what we need, it just won't work no matter how bad we want it to.

If you would like to discuss it further, please write again. Good luck.

July 5, 2010 - 1:21pm

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