It's been quite a while since I last updated. I made a lot of decisions in the past month, and canceled a lot of plans, yet I still feel as though things have remained the same here at home. For starters, I canceled my application to Victoria, so I'm officially not going to school this semester. With hopes of not upsetting my mom too much, I told her I would begin school next semester (January); somewhere closer to home. She was a little more accepting after that but every now and then she still shows her disappointment in me and my decision (comparing me to others who are going to uni, etc.)
I've applied to quite a few areas (work) and even got my license. Unfortunately I haven't been presented with a job interview yet but I'm sure one will come along soon. As for living arrangements, I want to save up as much money as I can so I'd like to just stay at home for now, although more often than not the idea of moving out sounds very appealing. I still haven't decided whether I truly want to begin school in January, but I've applied to the local uni just in case I do decide to go.
I haven't been communicating much with my dad at all - I found out that instead of keeping my e-mails on the down low (from my mom) as I had asked him to, he had been discussing them with her and even encouraging her to ignore my desires of staying here in Canada and leaving to Florida. That really angered me and I guess I've been holding somewhat of a grudge against him for that. He's aware of my new plans of working and eventually going to uni, but all he ever seems to say in regards to that is that he thinks I'm wrong in wanting to stay here in Canada, that there are so many more opportunities in Florida (and then he goes hours and hours talking about this college and that college).
Things with my mom improved a bit more (or so I thought) until we had another fight yesterday. Again, it was about me going out. My boyfriend had just come back from a 5-day camping trip and I wanted to go and see him. When I asked her she said 'no', even though I had done all my chores and even though we had had a nice weekend here at home. I guess she just woke up in a bad mood. So I asked her why and that led into a big argument about how I she never should have let me date him in the first place and how much she regrets it. Then she created new "rules", saying that from now on I'm only allowed out on weekends, and only for 2 hours. I don't even know what to say to her anymore; I've run out of arguments and she seems to be indifferent about everything I do say. It's like she has absolutely no emotion at all!
Again, this is creating problems between my boyfriend and I. We argued about it today; about how I'm not allowed out as much as we both would like. He sets aside time from work, school, and soccer for me and a lot of the time I'm not even able to see him! I definitely understand how that frustrates him - it frustrates me so much!
I continue to feel as though I'm not only physically but just entirely stuck inside 4 walls and I'm not able to get out. I really am just sick and tired of the same situation at home every day and the little understanding and support I get and how nothing I do is ever enough to satisfy or please anyone. I'm extremely frustrated and overwhelmed, yet I still can't figure out how to tackle this problem. Talking over it with my mom has proved never to work, and I don't know how else to try to fix this.
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Hi Susan,
It's been quite a while since I last updated. I made a lot of decisions in the past month, and canceled a lot of plans, yet I still feel as though things have remained the same here at home. For starters, I canceled my application to Victoria, so I'm officially not going to school this semester. With hopes of not upsetting my mom too much, I told her I would begin school next semester (January); somewhere closer to home. She was a little more accepting after that but every now and then she still shows her disappointment in me and my decision (comparing me to others who are going to uni, etc.)
I've applied to quite a few areas (work) and even got my license. Unfortunately I haven't been presented with a job interview yet but I'm sure one will come along soon. As for living arrangements, I want to save up as much money as I can so I'd like to just stay at home for now, although more often than not the idea of moving out sounds very appealing. I still haven't decided whether I truly want to begin school in January, but I've applied to the local uni just in case I do decide to go.
I haven't been communicating much with my dad at all - I found out that instead of keeping my e-mails on the down low (from my mom) as I had asked him to, he had been discussing them with her and even encouraging her to ignore my desires of staying here in Canada and leaving to Florida. That really angered me and I guess I've been holding somewhat of a grudge against him for that. He's aware of my new plans of working and eventually going to uni, but all he ever seems to say in regards to that is that he thinks I'm wrong in wanting to stay here in Canada, that there are so many more opportunities in Florida (and then he goes hours and hours talking about this college and that college).
Things with my mom improved a bit more (or so I thought) until we had another fight yesterday. Again, it was about me going out. My boyfriend had just come back from a 5-day camping trip and I wanted to go and see him. When I asked her she said 'no', even though I had done all my chores and even though we had had a nice weekend here at home. I guess she just woke up in a bad mood. So I asked her why and that led into a big argument about how I she never should have let me date him in the first place and how much she regrets it. Then she created new "rules", saying that from now on I'm only allowed out on weekends, and only for 2 hours. I don't even know what to say to her anymore; I've run out of arguments and she seems to be indifferent about everything I do say. It's like she has absolutely no emotion at all!
Again, this is creating problems between my boyfriend and I. We argued about it today; about how I'm not allowed out as much as we both would like. He sets aside time from work, school, and soccer for me and a lot of the time I'm not even able to see him! I definitely understand how that frustrates him - it frustrates me so much!
I continue to feel as though I'm not only physically but just entirely stuck inside 4 walls and I'm not able to get out. I really am just sick and tired of the same situation at home every day and the little understanding and support I get and how nothing I do is ever enough to satisfy or please anyone. I'm extremely frustrated and overwhelmed, yet I still can't figure out how to tackle this problem. Talking over it with my mom has proved never to work, and I don't know how else to try to fix this.
August 25, 2010 - 5:25pmThis Comment
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