Yes, he has had some physical problems in the past. We probably have sex about once a month and sometimes everything's fine, and other times he has trouble.
But I think it is more than just a physical issue, I think he is just not interested. But maybe that's all connected - he doesn't feel physically aroused and so he isn't mentally interested. It's very confusing because it's like the one thing we can't talk about. He is usually concerned about my feelings and with other issues (money, family, time, that sort of thing) we can usually sit down, talk it out, and it's very loving and affectionate. With this issue, he avoids the topic and makes jokes if I bring it up. That's what makes me think he is embarrassed.
I agree that we should work on it together but he is very closed. So I need to figure out how to take care of myself. I know that I can't "make" him change or "make" him talk if he doesn't want to, and I have no intention of leaving, but I do end up feeling frustrated and sad and I want to stop living in this weird limbo of "when will the next time be, and should I bring it up, what should I do, what should I say". I feel like I'm waiting for him to do something and he never does.
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Hi Alison,
Yes, he has had some physical problems in the past. We probably have sex about once a month and sometimes everything's fine, and other times he has trouble.
But I think it is more than just a physical issue, I think he is just not interested. But maybe that's all connected - he doesn't feel physically aroused and so he isn't mentally interested. It's very confusing because it's like the one thing we can't talk about. He is usually concerned about my feelings and with other issues (money, family, time, that sort of thing) we can usually sit down, talk it out, and it's very loving and affectionate. With this issue, he avoids the topic and makes jokes if I bring it up. That's what makes me think he is embarrassed.
I agree that we should work on it together but he is very closed. So I need to figure out how to take care of myself. I know that I can't "make" him change or "make" him talk if he doesn't want to, and I have no intention of leaving, but I do end up feeling frustrated and sad and I want to stop living in this weird limbo of "when will the next time be, and should I bring it up, what should I do, what should I say". I feel like I'm waiting for him to do something and he never does.
Ugh, argh!
July 29, 2010 - 2:23pmThis Comment
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