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Anonymous

Hi, my husband also doesn not like to be touched and we have initmacy issues. This is what led me to search on the internet and led me to this forum. I could not understand why rubbing or kissing parts of his body (i.e. arms) is very annoying for him. When we started dating our sex life was okay but 4 months after his friend died and since then our sex life changed. Very very little to no sex for long periods of time. He did admit he got depressed and saw a psychologist a couple of time although i dont know if the sex part was discussed in their sessions. At that time he was also stressed at work and during confrontation he mentioned that having to perform adds to his stress. Now ue has a very unstressful job amd he seems like he is not depressed anymore (it has been 5 yrs since his depression started). But our sex issues still continue. I know he watches porn because i caught him one time and he said that it has always been this way for him since puberty. I dont think I can change that but it makes me feel very insecure for us to have no sex and he continues to watch porn and masturbate. I wouldnt mind watching porn with him if we had a healthy sex life, you know? At one point he said that he has developed an aversion to sex and he’s been reading about it. H knows that there is something wrong with him but I cant help but lose my confidence and self-esteem every single day. I try to keep it together and tell myseld it’s not me but I dont feel beautiful or sexy anymore. I dont know what self-research or study he is doing. All i know is that we only have sex whenever he wants to. And he doesnt even look at me when we have sex. And in the few time that we do I feel like im doing all the work while he just lies down the whole time and not looking at me. It’s usually painful
for me physically because there is not enough foreplay. Im very affectionate and I like to be touched. I like foreplay and seduction and enjoy the act of lovemaking. I try to be thankful and appreciative of him everytime we have sex but there is also a conflict that I am not enjoying when we have sex. A small part of me is happy to know my husband still desires me but our sex seems only for his pleasure and not for mine.

November 6, 2017 - 6:31pm

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