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I am happy to hear back from you, and look forward to talking with you whenever you can get to the computer.

I assume your husband was like this, even before you had your child... is that a correct assumption? I just wanted to make sure that his behavior and personality did not radically change once your child was born.

Did he want to have a child, with you? Was he ready to become a parent, and share in responsibility? He does sound very tied to his parents still, but you have a lot of power in how he treats you, and what you will put up with.

I'm not sure what "I love him" means, as the definition of a healthy, loving relationship does not include calling names, "ditching" you for a dinner date....these are very harmful behaviors, and if you are choosing to stay with him, you do have many options to protect you and your child. (You do not want your child to learn that a relationship is about one person dominating and the other person being submissive).

I would love to hear you comment on my other "suggestions", as I am curious if he has your best intentions at heart, and if he can be reasoned with. If not, I would urge you to call a local women's shelter just to talk with them on the phone about your options. They are wonderful, very helpful and do not put pressure on you to leave. They help you plan, in case you do need to leave, and offer financial support, shelter, information and other services.

You can only excuse your husband for being an only child for so long. Is he interested in discussing adult things with you, like budgets and finances? Even talking with a financial counselor (this is a healthy choice for most couples to do!) to discuss saving for future, spending and choices on how to spend fairly would be invaluable.

I hope to hear from you again, soon!

November 16, 2010 - 10:04pm


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