The solution is dependent on the cause of your vaginal dryness.
I have a few follow-up questions for you:
1. Are you sexually active with one partner (reason I'm asking: is this a person you trust, or is your brain telling you that this is not the person for you, and it is manifesting itself physically by you not being aroused enough to produce lubrication?). Many times, sexual problems arise from the first point of sexual arousal: our brains and emotions. I just wanted to make sure you are having sex with one partner whom you love and trust with no deep issues, or you are having sex with multiple partners and being safe and happy with this. If you are emotionally and mentally OK with your sexual partners, then you can move on to the physical aspects.
2. Physically, you said you are unable to self-lubricate, and this has happened within the past 3 years. What happened, or changed, when you were 23?
3. During the sex act, are you able to tell your partner to slow down? Do you feel your voice is heard, and you don't feel pressure to perform? Do you feel guilty for not being "wet enough" from a few times, and now you are scared that you are not wet enough and it prevents you from becoming fully aroused?
4. You mentioned there is some feeling of tearing after sex. You probably want to use store-bought lubrication if you choose to have sex, as your body may begin to associate sex-with-pain, and it will be more difficult to self-lubricate. Does that make sense? Use lubrication liberally so that sex is not painful; your body is not "bracing" itself for intercourse, and you can hopefully physically relax more, which can lead to more self-lubrication.
5. Recurrent yeast infections might mean that they are not being properly diagnosed and treated. You would want to make sure you are infection-free before continuing any sexual relations, as your partner may also be spreading the infection back-and-forth. Have you been diagnosed with the specific type of infection?
If, after all of this, you are still not self-lubricating, you should talk with your doctor. Do you have a Gynecologist that you trust?
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The solution is dependent on the cause of your vaginal dryness.
I have a few follow-up questions for you:
1. Are you sexually active with one partner (reason I'm asking: is this a person you trust, or is your brain telling you that this is not the person for you, and it is manifesting itself physically by you not being aroused enough to produce lubrication?). Many times, sexual problems arise from the first point of sexual arousal: our brains and emotions. I just wanted to make sure you are having sex with one partner whom you love and trust with no deep issues, or you are having sex with multiple partners and being safe and happy with this. If you are emotionally and mentally OK with your sexual partners, then you can move on to the physical aspects.
2. Physically, you said you are unable to self-lubricate, and this has happened within the past 3 years. What happened, or changed, when you were 23?
3. During the sex act, are you able to tell your partner to slow down? Do you feel your voice is heard, and you don't feel pressure to perform? Do you feel guilty for not being "wet enough" from a few times, and now you are scared that you are not wet enough and it prevents you from becoming fully aroused?
4. You mentioned there is some feeling of tearing after sex. You probably want to use store-bought lubrication if you choose to have sex, as your body may begin to associate sex-with-pain, and it will be more difficult to self-lubricate. Does that make sense? Use lubrication liberally so that sex is not painful; your body is not "bracing" itself for intercourse, and you can hopefully physically relax more, which can lead to more self-lubrication.
5. Recurrent yeast infections might mean that they are not being properly diagnosed and treated. You would want to make sure you are infection-free before continuing any sexual relations, as your partner may also be spreading the infection back-and-forth. Have you been diagnosed with the specific type of infection?
If, after all of this, you are still not self-lubricating, you should talk with your doctor. Do you have a Gynecologist that you trust?
September 21, 2010 - 12:45pmThis Comment
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