My husband of 23 years just admitted to me that he's been masturbating for the entire length of our relationship (30 yrs in total). Given the fact that we met as teens, I'm not surprised by his masturbatng in the " eat years). But once we got married at age 24 and 26, I assumed the need for masturbation was gone. He told me that he is doing it much less often now than he did in his 20's and 30's but I feel totally devastated that for at least 20 yrs of our lives he's been jerking off secret and lying to me whenever unasked about it. I am a very sexual woman who would have sex 7 days a week if my husband was up to it, but of course he's not. I can't help but wonder how many times he's turned me down because he already pleasure himself! In 30 yrs I never once said no to him when it came to any kind of sex. I'm open for anything, I do it all... And the most hurtful part is that he knows it's a turn on for me to watch him masturbate! I wont even have to participate if he doesn't want me to, I can take care of myself while he takes care of himself. I even get turned on watching porn together, which is something we don't do often because I think he's shy or embarrassed to tell me exactly what about it turns him on. I'm a very jealous person so it would be beneficial to both of us if he would just be honest with me instead of leaving things to my imagination. Not knowing makes me angry and I think a woman sitting on a bed can turn him on before any aex even happens on screen. It's the betrayal, it's the lies and it's the feeling of inadequacy and feeling he's not attracted to me that hurts the most. Please help me find a way to not be so consumed by this and secretly hating my husband, although he doesn't know it. Whenever I ask him questions about it he just gives me answers that he thinks I want to hear, not the 100% truth and that hurts too. It makes my own mind fill in the blanks and my imagination of how it went down for him is probably worse than the reality. Our marriage was so great,we were strong partners, he was my rock of Gibraltar,my love, my life and our friends and family admire how loving and strong our relationship still is even after 23 yrs of marriage. I still look forward to him coming home from work, sitting next to me while we watch tv, I admire his mind, he's smart and funny. But I'm losing some of that now. I feel like I may be allowing this to destroy me and our lives together. How could he deceive me for so long and why? Does anyone have any advice that can offer me. I would appreciate anything, I need help. :(
Comment Reply
My husband of 23 years just admitted to me that he's been masturbating for the entire length of our relationship (30 yrs in total). Given the fact that we met as teens, I'm not surprised by his masturbatng in the " eat years). But once we got married at age 24 and 26, I assumed the need for masturbation was gone. He told me that he is doing it much less often now than he did in his 20's and 30's but I feel totally devastated that for at least 20 yrs of our lives he's been jerking off secret and lying to me whenever unasked about it. I am a very sexual woman who would have sex 7 days a week if my husband was up to it, but of course he's not. I can't help but wonder how many times he's turned me down because he already pleasure himself! In 30 yrs I never once said no to him when it came to any kind of sex. I'm open for anything, I do it all... And the most hurtful part is that he knows it's a turn on for me to watch him masturbate! I wont even have to participate if he doesn't want me to, I can take care of myself while he takes care of himself. I even get turned on watching porn together, which is something we don't do often because I think he's shy or embarrassed to tell me exactly what about it turns him on. I'm a very jealous person so it would be beneficial to both of us if he would just be honest with me instead of leaving things to my imagination. Not knowing makes me angry and I think a woman sitting on a bed can turn him on before any aex even happens on screen. It's the betrayal, it's the lies and it's the feeling of inadequacy and feeling he's not attracted to me that hurts the most. Please help me find a way to not be so consumed by this and secretly hating my husband, although he doesn't know it. Whenever I ask him questions about it he just gives me answers that he thinks I want to hear, not the 100% truth and that hurts too. It makes my own mind fill in the blanks and my imagination of how it went down for him is probably worse than the reality. Our marriage was so great,we were strong partners, he was my rock of Gibraltar,my love, my life and our friends and family admire how loving and strong our relationship still is even after 23 yrs of marriage. I still look forward to him coming home from work, sitting next to me while we watch tv, I admire his mind, he's smart and funny. But I'm losing some of that now. I feel like I may be allowing this to destroy me and our lives together. How could he deceive me for so long and why? Does anyone have any advice that can offer me. I would appreciate anything, I need help. :(
July 7, 2015 - 11:21pmThis Comment
Reply