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I'm sorry you are going through this! I have a few thoughts for you:

1. Is your boyfriend legitimately stressed? There is the typical stress of work and life, but then he is also dealing with an "ex-wife from hell" as you said, which can be emotionally draining. Does he have much contact with his "kid"? It concerns me a little at the language used in regards to his other family; is this from your perspective or his?

2. Moving in together does change the dynamics of a relationship. Honestly, you can not compare the frequency of sex before moving in to after wards, as many things change. Most couples do not have the time to have sex EVERY night, and if that is your expectation, you probably will be disappointed. As couples become closer to what is called "mature love" (vs. "infatuation" or "romantic love"), they feel stronger in their connection that they do not need to have sex daily; they are able to show their love, affection and interest in each other in many other ways IN ADDITION to sex.

The birth control thing may just be an excuse, but it sounds like there are some unresolved issues regarding your boyfriend's other family. Sex is usually the best litmus test, as if something is not quite right in the relationship in any other area, sex may be the first thing to diminish until other areas are resolved.

September 30, 2010 - 1:40pm

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