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I agree with what you said. It also may be a good idea for her too to talk with a therapist. I know that may be scary, but this may be really hard work to take on alone or just with the boyfriend. A therapist is trained in helping you learn healthier ways to react, and healthier habits to help you move forward more smoothly. Many times, these sessions can be covered by insurance at minimal cost to you. Just think about it. In the meantime, everything else suggested is good to try and practice.