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Anonymous (reply to Pat Elliott)

Thanks for your reply! As usual, you were prompt and so helpful! Your sensitivity comes through loud and clear, Pat.
My sister is a strong lady, both physically and mentally. I'm a therapist, believe it or not, and my sister and I have a history of closeness. So we do talk pretty openly, but I refrain from asking to speak to her MD. I pretty much follow her lead, which is governed by her own educated choices,good sense, the opinions of her husband and adult children. She still has a great deal of hope, it seems. But she remains informed and realistic, too. She's careful to educate us about her process in all of this; that she's been dealing with this for 5 years already, and knows what's in store. Her doctors have explained the importance of keeping her "comfortable" and have acted on it already. I visit her and help out regularly by spending time doing chores, cooking, and giving her Reiki (I'm a level 2 practitioner), which really seems to help with her discomfort. She's on pain killing drugs which really have improved the quality of her life. I admire her courage! I think what you hear in my posts is a kind of pre-grieving. I know this is eventually going to take her from me, and being the control freak I am, I want to know as much as possible. I've spoken to folks from the National Cancer Institute, and they sent me a huge bundle of stuff based upon what I've told you and them. I had to put it aside, as it dealt with palliative care/end of life issues and such. I just couldn't bear the thought of opening that stuff and reading about it as it relates to MY sister, MY life. I sound like an egomaniac right now, but believe me, I talk to next to noone about these feelings. What rights do I have to speak or give an opinion when her husband, children and mother are also dealing with a potentially catastrophic loss? So here I sit, sending messages to a sweet, caring, knowledgeable person on line. Her name is Pat. I thank you so much for this!!!

Marilyn

November 16, 2010 - 7:11pm

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