First off, thank you. It's amazing how when you least expect it, you come across exactly what you needed to hear to get you out of a slump. I've struggling to move on and losing a lot of sleep since my break-up. It wasn't until I read your post and reflected on it that I realized my biggest worry was what my next relationship means or how to define it (I know it sounds weird since most dwell on losing the relationship). Again, thank you. I wish I could make it up to you.
Well, on to my commentary. I think the line in your post that best explains why relationshipism is a necessary evil, or a largely unavoidable evil, is "Perhaps we do this because we are so terrified of the unknown." We become so emotionally and mentally invested in relationships that we don't allow room for what excitement the unknown can bring. I feel that channeling one's liberal arts education is easier said than done.
I believe that whether or not a person is able to live without labels depends, in part, on someones upbringing. For example: my ex's father was emotionally distant to my ex and my ex's brother and their parent's fought a lot. My ex became obsessed with knowing exactly where our relationship was and was going to be in so many years until it ruined what we had. How you were raised and your life experiences play a large part in your openness to undefined relationships and I envy you for it. It takes real strength and a vigorous, independent mind to (at least try) not fall into the same traps so many of us do.
It's become such a cliche to blame the media, but I also blame the media and commercialism. Why the f*ck are there shows about elementary and middle school kids in "committed" relationships? Why are we trying to influence and persuade children to grow up faster than they can or should? Why is it that when I was working in an elementary school that I saw at least 15 FIRST AND SECOND GRADERS wearing shirts like "100% flirt" and "I'm all tease"?
Sorry for digressing, I got a bit off topic. Obviously I don't expect you to answer those questions. I guess to summarize: Labels are safety blankets. They provide comfort to people whose significant other doesn't communicate their feelings effectively or for those who get paranoid easily.
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First off, thank you. It's amazing how when you least expect it, you come across exactly what you needed to hear to get you out of a slump. I've struggling to move on and losing a lot of sleep since my break-up. It wasn't until I read your post and reflected on it that I realized my biggest worry was what my next relationship means or how to define it (I know it sounds weird since most dwell on losing the relationship). Again, thank you. I wish I could make it up to you.
Well, on to my commentary. I think the line in your post that best explains why relationshipism is a necessary evil, or a largely unavoidable evil, is "Perhaps we do this because we are so terrified of the unknown." We become so emotionally and mentally invested in relationships that we don't allow room for what excitement the unknown can bring. I feel that channeling one's liberal arts education is easier said than done.
I believe that whether or not a person is able to live without labels depends, in part, on someones upbringing. For example: my ex's father was emotionally distant to my ex and my ex's brother and their parent's fought a lot. My ex became obsessed with knowing exactly where our relationship was and was going to be in so many years until it ruined what we had. How you were raised and your life experiences play a large part in your openness to undefined relationships and I envy you for it. It takes real strength and a vigorous, independent mind to (at least try) not fall into the same traps so many of us do.
It's become such a cliche to blame the media, but I also blame the media and commercialism. Why the f*ck are there shows about elementary and middle school kids in "committed" relationships? Why are we trying to influence and persuade children to grow up faster than they can or should? Why is it that when I was working in an elementary school that I saw at least 15 FIRST AND SECOND GRADERS wearing shirts like "100% flirt" and "I'm all tease"?
Sorry for digressing, I got a bit off topic. Obviously I don't expect you to answer those questions. I guess to summarize: Labels are safety blankets. They provide comfort to people whose significant other doesn't communicate their feelings effectively or for those who get paranoid easily.
November 18, 2010 - 1:39pmThis Comment
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