I forgot to comment on your anxious feelings about something harming your child. Most, if not all, moms have this response. I'm sure some dads and other male-caregivers do as well, but it does seem to be a particular female-response in child-rearing. There are different levels of feeling anxious, and if you are not able to function or the anxiety is causing difficulty in your daily life or with relationships, then it is a good idea to talk with a counselor.
There is actually a biological reason behind why are minds take us down the path of every possible harmful thing that could hurt our child. As moms, we feel this deep sense of responsibility for our children, and also can not escape the daily bombarding of possible scary situations that could harm our family. The news is just awful, as all that seems newsworthy are deaths and other disasters. Moms do worry about their children, and sometimes our minds go to the dark places: what if the house catches on fire, what if a burglar breaks in, what if my child is bulled, what if s/he is kidnapped...on and on. These scenarios play out in our hearts and minds, and it makes us feel awful as we try to stop these thoughts. SOME of these thoughts are useful, in preparing us for the worst-case scenario to actually logically think-through some problems, and have a plan (fire-safety comes to mind). HOWEVER...if these thoughts are consuming you, are frequent or uncontrollable, this is where you can use a counselor to talk with. Sometimes I have these awful thoughts go through my head, and I allow myself to think through the possible harm to a solution, then do not give myself permission to think about it anymore. If it is serving a purpose, it's OK, as long as it is not causing you harm in your relationships and within yourself. Some safety planning is OK, but not to the detriment of actually enjoying your life MOST of the time!
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I forgot to comment on your anxious feelings about something harming your child. Most, if not all, moms have this response. I'm sure some dads and other male-caregivers do as well, but it does seem to be a particular female-response in child-rearing. There are different levels of feeling anxious, and if you are not able to function or the anxiety is causing difficulty in your daily life or with relationships, then it is a good idea to talk with a counselor.
There is actually a biological reason behind why are minds take us down the path of every possible harmful thing that could hurt our child. As moms, we feel this deep sense of responsibility for our children, and also can not escape the daily bombarding of possible scary situations that could harm our family. The news is just awful, as all that seems newsworthy are deaths and other disasters. Moms do worry about their children, and sometimes our minds go to the dark places: what if the house catches on fire, what if a burglar breaks in, what if my child is bulled, what if s/he is kidnapped...on and on. These scenarios play out in our hearts and minds, and it makes us feel awful as we try to stop these thoughts. SOME of these thoughts are useful, in preparing us for the worst-case scenario to actually logically think-through some problems, and have a plan (fire-safety comes to mind). HOWEVER...if these thoughts are consuming you, are frequent or uncontrollable, this is where you can use a counselor to talk with. Sometimes I have these awful thoughts go through my head, and I allow myself to think through the possible harm to a solution, then do not give myself permission to think about it anymore. If it is serving a purpose, it's OK, as long as it is not causing you harm in your relationships and within yourself. Some safety planning is OK, but not to the detriment of actually enjoying your life MOST of the time!
November 18, 2010 - 2:21pmThis Comment
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