Hi lostcause,
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. But the key things to remember here, is that 1) you are dating, you're not married, and 2) you have choices. I know you say you love him, but is his behavior loving you? It may be time to look into spending more time with your own mates, and getting your own phone plan. One of two things will happen, he will come back and start being the old loving boyfriend you fell in love with (beware falling back into the old tricks though), OR you will begin to move on, and in time it will become easier to live your own life and not be so dependent on what he's doing and how he's acting. You can advocate for yourself here, and should. Dating is all about finding someone who fits with you, not you trying to fit into their game plan. It should be easy, and when it's not, you can decide to move on and be alone (with your mates and any family you've got close, of course), until the next greatest thing comes along. I'm a huge believer in the idea that life is too short to be wasting time with the wrong guy. You've already been in this 2 years, watch out you don't blink and it's 5 years with the same control issues. We can't tell you what to do, we can only support and inspire you to advocate for yourself. I know it's never easy to do that, but you can.
There are articles about improving communication in your relationship, and other ideas that may help you to do that: ]]>Relationship Articles and Tips]]>
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
-Christine
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Hi lostcause,
November 18, 2010 - 8:39amI'm sorry you're having to go through this. But the key things to remember here, is that 1) you are dating, you're not married, and 2) you have choices. I know you say you love him, but is his behavior loving you? It may be time to look into spending more time with your own mates, and getting your own phone plan. One of two things will happen, he will come back and start being the old loving boyfriend you fell in love with (beware falling back into the old tricks though), OR you will begin to move on, and in time it will become easier to live your own life and not be so dependent on what he's doing and how he's acting. You can advocate for yourself here, and should. Dating is all about finding someone who fits with you, not you trying to fit into their game plan. It should be easy, and when it's not, you can decide to move on and be alone (with your mates and any family you've got close, of course), until the next greatest thing comes along. I'm a huge believer in the idea that life is too short to be wasting time with the wrong guy. You've already been in this 2 years, watch out you don't blink and it's 5 years with the same control issues. We can't tell you what to do, we can only support and inspire you to advocate for yourself. I know it's never easy to do that, but you can.
There are articles about improving communication in your relationship, and other ideas that may help you to do that:
]]>Relationship Articles and Tips]]>
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
-Christine
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