Hi Juliettexo,
Thank you for your question and for finding EmpowHER. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I cannot diagnose what's going on, I can only give suggestions for you to think about and act on yourself. It sounds to me like this problem has nothing to do with you, so rest-assured you are beautiful and sexy just like he has told you in the past. He has a problem. I can't say what that problem is, it could be a number of things. And if he's not talking, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. You can try in a loving manner to say that you're worried about him and just want to know what's going on. But if he's defensive, you have no choice but to consider how truly invested in this relationship he is and you are. You are young, and for whatever reason, the sex part of your relationship is out of synch. Sexual incompatibility could be a deal breaker, but it's up to you to decide when to say when. Give it a bit of time if you want, try to focus on other things and if the sex doesn't come naturally, or match up to your own expectations, you can decide it's time to move on. I know you say you love him, but these problems are cropping up for good reason. You deserve to know those reasons, and be happy, comfortable and confident in your relationship. Stick to what you want.
Good luck and let us know what you think or how you are doing.
Take care,
Christine
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Hi Juliettexo,
November 23, 2010 - 7:40amThank you for your question and for finding EmpowHER. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I cannot diagnose what's going on, I can only give suggestions for you to think about and act on yourself. It sounds to me like this problem has nothing to do with you, so rest-assured you are beautiful and sexy just like he has told you in the past. He has a problem. I can't say what that problem is, it could be a number of things. And if he's not talking, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. You can try in a loving manner to say that you're worried about him and just want to know what's going on. But if he's defensive, you have no choice but to consider how truly invested in this relationship he is and you are. You are young, and for whatever reason, the sex part of your relationship is out of synch. Sexual incompatibility could be a deal breaker, but it's up to you to decide when to say when. Give it a bit of time if you want, try to focus on other things and if the sex doesn't come naturally, or match up to your own expectations, you can decide it's time to move on. I know you say you love him, but these problems are cropping up for good reason. You deserve to know those reasons, and be happy, comfortable and confident in your relationship. Stick to what you want.
Good luck and let us know what you think or how you are doing.
Take care,
Christine
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