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(reply to MiaBella)

MiaBella,
That is EXACTLY what happens when I try to talk to him about the romance, intimacy, etc. He seems to think I'm just "causing more problems." I think you're correct in the fact that he's getting defensive and I think when I do talk to him about that stuff he WANTS to be able to attend to my needs and feels bad that he can't so he gets upset.
Since writing on this forum, (which has been incredibly helpful by the way, thank you all so much) I have started asking more about his day and plain just shutting up so he can talk. I don't have a problem listening, but I do have a problem keeping my mouth shut, I like to talk. >.< I've noticed tiny improvements over the past couple days since I've been paying close attention to his needs as well as showering him with love and affection and telling him what an amazing person he is. We even had sex last night, and it was awesome! lol
I know that medication will not fix his depression alone, he will have to work at it himself to get better. Right now, I think he needs the medication to boost his attitude up a little bit, because right now he doesn't even have that attitude to START changing anything. I myself am on medication for my mood swings and I was amazed how much better my attitude was and how happy I was everyday when I woke up. I still have to make a conscious effort to keep myself from getting TOO irritated with people but if I can do it I know he can do it too!
Thank you for the advice in regards to the hurtful comments. That sounds like a really good idea and I'm going to try it next time. Every time we've fought, since the beginning of our relationship he gets SO angry and then starts alluding to breaking up even though I've told him to stop and him and I both know it's not what he wants. It's just tough for me because then I think "Well, what if he really DOESN'T want to be with me and feels stuck in our relationship." I really don't think that's what's going on, but I can't help get paranoid because I love him so much and I love us together.
I will look into a vibrator or something. I've been to sex shops and have always wanted to buy some toys, but for some reason I'm just slightly embarrassed to do it! I'm not the type of person to get embarrassed either. Thank you so much!!!!!!! You have no idea how much it means.

December 3, 2010 - 8:58am

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