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Anonymous

I agree with a lot of this article but I'd like to add to it, firstly to commenters saying they love their guy and they know he loves them but don't understand the lack of sex, the odds are he does love you and hopefully some of what I say helps coming from the perspective of a guy.

The world of internet porn has certainly had a negative effect on many relationships for both men and women, it's not because a guy/girl would rather watch porn over having sex, trust me, we all want to have sex but where internet porn is hindering relationships in the bedroom is the kind of sex. Online porn allows you to find the type of partner you want to have sex with and not just physically, you would be amazed how much looks doesn't play into it as much as the attitude. I myself am a joke around type of guy, cracking jokes and always trying to have a laugh so in the bedroom I like a girl that thoroughly enjoys sex and can actually smile a bit (c'mon it's sex, smile!) so I don't like a girl that's over serious or over aggressive in bed (e.g. slamming lips together and multiple kisses quickly, I'd prefer softer and 1 or 2 long kisses) so here's a list of things that could be shying your partner away from the bedroom regardless of how much they love you.

- Over Serious, I'm sure some guys like a serious girl but sex to most is about enjoyment and pleasure, try smiling a bit and show your partner how much you enjoy being with them, girls if you feel worthless or undesired because your guy won't sleep with you then how is he gonna feel if you look like sex is just a chore for you?
- Over Aggressive, guess what? Don't want to be treated like the porn stars you think we're watching? Neither do we! Screaming HARDER when a guy is going full steam isn't exactly going to boost our labido, in fact it will have an opposite effect as we now think we can't give you the pleasure your looking for, don't want to be treated like a porn star? It goes both ways.
- Over Vocal, I like moaning and groaning and a girl to get vocal specially when I'm hitting that right spot but I have a limit, if your gonna lay there screaming something over and over. Then the odds are your gonna turn him off.
-Initiator, now this is an interesting subject as many of the commenters have said things like "they're always ready to go", " high sex drive", " I try to intiate" etc, think about it this way, when you first get together there's usually lots of sex but then it fades off, that's cause when your single your always looking to get laid but in a relationship and specially one where the girl is always "ready to go" there's no longer a thrill and combined with many of the stuff I've listed will have an adverse effect, sometimes when a girl is too wanting the guy knows it and for reasons unknown even to the guy it becomes a turn off. But I have 2 ideas to this that are:
Mess and physical, sex is messy and if your a girl that "squirts" it only adds to it, combine that with the physical portion for a guy it could add up to not wanting to bother, personally I don't particularly like falling asleep coated in sweat on a puddle of cum, this will generally mean a change of sheets and a shower so you can sleep comfortable, so my suggestion here is if you notice this is a problem for your guy try discussing it with him to form a better a plan of attack, maybe sex in the morning, make sure that your on top as much as he is to make it not as physical for him.

-Social media, things like facebook, Twitter and even just texting, as a guy myself nothing irritated me more then trying to spend some quality time with my girlfriend and she can't put down her phone, seriously, people can't watch a movie anymore without picking up their phone every 5 minutes to check on there facebook or comment back to something or answer a message, or to mindlessly scroll through their timeline and then what happens? Something happens in the movie and your girlfriends head shoots up and she asks "what happened?" guess what, had you just been paying attention you would know instead of me either hitting rewind or having to try to tell you while I miss a part of the movie, It doesn't matter where you are or what your doing or whether you are a girl or guy, smarten up and put your phone away when your with your partner, you want love and romance and passion? Well they might want your undivided attention for more then 5 minutes. I seriously can't stress this enough, it's honestly maddening, so if you find yourself in postions where he asks a question and you regularly find yourself saying "just a sec" cause your face is glued to a screen then take heed of my advice.

I could go on but I really don't care to, my advice applies to both men and women, if your having problems and you don't know what's wrong it could be something very simple that you wouldn't think in a million years is a problem, so sit down start up a conversation with your partner and figure it out, it may seem irrational what they suggests but instead of getting upset try just listening, if you get upset then the odds are your partner will not bring it up again and your life will not improve, guys can be overly blunt at times and what they say could hurt but it's better to know and possibly rekindle the spark with the love of your life then to just leave him cause your upset.

Hope some of this helps
-Castle

March 13, 2016 - 11:12am

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