yes must seem strange to the younger generation to stay in these very different marriages.
however i never thought i had a choice.let me explain.i married when i was very young and very in love.i had very difficult childhood/
parents in un happy marriage.so although i hoped for better.had no illusion that marriage would be perfect.was also told by mother YOU MADE YOUR BED,you can lay on it,in other words option was not there to go back home.
because my hubby was not diagnosed and he impressed every one with his charm ,then no one would have believed me.
i had nothing.in those days house was always in mans name.
within 5 yrs i had lost all self confidence and put on 5 stone.
so like a lot of women of my generation i just got on with it,made best of a bad job???
after my breakdown and much councilling,i came to realize that i was not the bad wife and mother i thought i was.
when i was stronger i insisted on diagnosis for my husband.boy did he fight me on that one.and i know you are never meant to threaten,but only thing that works in our house.
now 4 yrs on.things are a million times better.he still has a/s.but i feel i am in control for first time in my life.
i could get divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour,a/s qualifies for this.
i could also get 65 per cent of all assets.
knowing i have that choice has made me stronger.
but he would suffer so much with out my support.i would suffer with out the security i now have.we now have a much more peacefull life now i know what i am dealing with/we are very fond of each other,and have been together so long.we do share a very stronge faith.and we both feel our marriage vows mean a lot to us both.
i always thought i was weak to stay,however was told recently that no,you are a stronge woman to stay.
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yes must seem strange to the younger generation to stay in these very different marriages.
January 6, 2011 - 3:17amhowever i never thought i had a choice.let me explain.i married when i was very young and very in love.i had very difficult childhood/
parents in un happy marriage.so although i hoped for better.had no illusion that marriage would be perfect.was also told by mother YOU MADE YOUR BED,you can lay on it,in other words option was not there to go back home.
because my hubby was not diagnosed and he impressed every one with his charm ,then no one would have believed me.
i had nothing.in those days house was always in mans name.
within 5 yrs i had lost all self confidence and put on 5 stone.
so like a lot of women of my generation i just got on with it,made best of a bad job???
after my breakdown and much councilling,i came to realize that i was not the bad wife and mother i thought i was.
when i was stronger i insisted on diagnosis for my husband.boy did he fight me on that one.and i know you are never meant to threaten,but only thing that works in our house.
now 4 yrs on.things are a million times better.he still has a/s.but i feel i am in control for first time in my life.
i could get divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour,a/s qualifies for this.
i could also get 65 per cent of all assets.
knowing i have that choice has made me stronger.
but he would suffer so much with out my support.i would suffer with out the security i now have.we now have a much more peacefull life now i know what i am dealing with/we are very fond of each other,and have been together so long.we do share a very stronge faith.and we both feel our marriage vows mean a lot to us both.
i always thought i was weak to stay,however was told recently that no,you are a stronge woman to stay.
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