as first, thank you for your support and for sharing your story with me.
to answer your question, no, me and my ex partner haven't REALLY talked. He's avoiding the subject.. and he doesn't seem to acknowledge my pain and loss completely, ie. when i would start the talk he'd say things like "not again" and "come on it wasn't a real baby after all".. but then his face would show pain, too, so i am sure he feels it too but i don't understand why we won't recognize my pain.
i understand the differences among sexes are so extreme and unrepairable when it comes to this. it seems to me that a woman becomes a mother from the day 1 since the pregnancy starts, and men they become fathers when the baby is born, or at least when it is SO evident it inside of you that they have to actually DEAL with it on daily basics.
i stopped feeling resentment and anger towards him at this point.. but what is killing me is that when i run into him accidentally around the town i feel like an army of skeletons just pops out of the closet, i can't help thinking of what we've been through and as my due term period approaches all i can think about is that if my baby would have lived, i would be holding him in my arms now, and instead of that they are so empty.
and that is how i feel, alone and empty.
and yes i will look for help soon, as time does help and heal things a bit but it is evident i can't get over it alone.
Comment Reply
Hi Christine,
as first, thank you for your support and for sharing your story with me.
to answer your question, no, me and my ex partner haven't REALLY talked. He's avoiding the subject.. and he doesn't seem to acknowledge my pain and loss completely, ie. when i would start the talk he'd say things like "not again" and "come on it wasn't a real baby after all".. but then his face would show pain, too, so i am sure he feels it too but i don't understand why we won't recognize my pain.
i understand the differences among sexes are so extreme and unrepairable when it comes to this. it seems to me that a woman becomes a mother from the day 1 since the pregnancy starts, and men they become fathers when the baby is born, or at least when it is SO evident it inside of you that they have to actually DEAL with it on daily basics.
i stopped feeling resentment and anger towards him at this point.. but what is killing me is that when i run into him accidentally around the town i feel like an army of skeletons just pops out of the closet, i can't help thinking of what we've been through and as my due term period approaches all i can think about is that if my baby would have lived, i would be holding him in my arms now, and instead of that they are so empty.
and that is how i feel, alone and empty.
and yes i will look for help soon, as time does help and heal things a bit but it is evident i can't get over it alone.
thank you so much for listening.
Mena
January 26, 2011 - 8:30amThis Comment
Reply