Coming from a man's perspective, it isn't fair to ask a man to accept your "healthy" yet portly body because you're "beautiful the way you are." While it is important to avoid hurting feelings and damaging a partner's self-esteem, you can't ignore some of the other dimensions of this issue. Many people could stand to improve and tighten their bodies with a little hard work; simply accepting chubbiness, pastiness, flab, laziness, and poor eating habits leads to complacency, and, consequently, needless bad looks and issues of aesthetics. It also affects endurance, performance, flexibility, and general sexiness, and can limit your options in bed. If you're an awesome person and a guy falls in love with you, it's very hard for him to be expected to walk the line between his love for your personality and the extreme sacrifice he has to make when settling for your unsexy body. Remember, in a monogamous relationship, you are agreeing to procreate with each other and only each other. If you don't have a nice body, you're asking the guy to permanently give up the prospect of sex with an attractive-bodied woman for the duration of the relationship. You cannot argue that lust is not inherently part of attraction, and it's a lot to ask of a guy to shove aside his standards of beauty for you when with some simple diet changes, daily cardio, and toning exercises you could uphold your half of the sex life a little more responsibly. This is not a one-way street; it is not hard for a guy to tone and get some muscle definition as well. This "feel good" mentality seems to suggest that relationships are about simple acceptance and unconditional love. That's silly; no one should be a dead weight (no pun intended) in the arrangement. Relationships really come with responsibility to your partner and to yourself, and require some effort. Just as you shouldn't expect someone to enjoy kissing you if you never brush your teeth, so you shouldn't expect him to enjoy making love with you if you don't make an effort to keep your body attractive and in shape. Which do you love more: eating, excuses, and laziness, or your partner's happiness?
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Coming from a man's perspective, it isn't fair to ask a man to accept your "healthy" yet portly body because you're "beautiful the way you are." While it is important to avoid hurting feelings and damaging a partner's self-esteem, you can't ignore some of the other dimensions of this issue. Many people could stand to improve and tighten their bodies with a little hard work; simply accepting chubbiness, pastiness, flab, laziness, and poor eating habits leads to complacency, and, consequently, needless bad looks and issues of aesthetics. It also affects endurance, performance, flexibility, and general sexiness, and can limit your options in bed. If you're an awesome person and a guy falls in love with you, it's very hard for him to be expected to walk the line between his love for your personality and the extreme sacrifice he has to make when settling for your unsexy body. Remember, in a monogamous relationship, you are agreeing to procreate with each other and only each other. If you don't have a nice body, you're asking the guy to permanently give up the prospect of sex with an attractive-bodied woman for the duration of the relationship. You cannot argue that lust is not inherently part of attraction, and it's a lot to ask of a guy to shove aside his standards of beauty for you when with some simple diet changes, daily cardio, and toning exercises you could uphold your half of the sex life a little more responsibly. This is not a one-way street; it is not hard for a guy to tone and get some muscle definition as well. This "feel good" mentality seems to suggest that relationships are about simple acceptance and unconditional love. That's silly; no one should be a dead weight (no pun intended) in the arrangement. Relationships really come with responsibility to your partner and to yourself, and require some effort. Just as you shouldn't expect someone to enjoy kissing you if you never brush your teeth, so you shouldn't expect him to enjoy making love with you if you don't make an effort to keep your body attractive and in shape. Which do you love more: eating, excuses, and laziness, or your partner's happiness?
March 2, 2011 - 2:02pmThis Comment
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