Hi Ayodeji,
Great point! It is all-too-often we hear half-hearted apologizing, or patronizing displays. Sincerity is the key, in my opinion regardless if you focus on it "not happening again." We are all human, and I believe that recognizing you hurt someone, validating their feelings in that way, regardless of right or wrong, it is a starting point. Kids are a whole different thing. It can be hard for a child to understand what they are apologizing for. Just this morning, one of my sons dropped a toy car off the railing in our house, and it hit our other son on his ear. The child who was hit cried from pain of being hit from above, and the child who was scolded for dropping the car started crying (I imagine) because he got into trouble. I had him apologize to his brother, because he hurt him. I know it was an accident. The one son was wrong in dropping the car. He didn't mean to hurt his brother, but his brother needed validation that he was wronged. Will his brother drop a car from the railing again? I don't know, and at his age, it's highly likely he will drop something again either trying to be cheeky, or just because he doesn't want to carry it down the stairs. I always make them say sorry regardless, and hope that after repeated reminders, it will become second nature for them when they know they were at fault. Hope that makes sense. You may disagree...
Take care, and thanks for your thoughtful comments.
-Christine
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Hi Ayodeji,
February 21, 2011 - 9:07amGreat point! It is all-too-often we hear half-hearted apologizing, or patronizing displays. Sincerity is the key, in my opinion regardless if you focus on it "not happening again." We are all human, and I believe that recognizing you hurt someone, validating their feelings in that way, regardless of right or wrong, it is a starting point. Kids are a whole different thing. It can be hard for a child to understand what they are apologizing for. Just this morning, one of my sons dropped a toy car off the railing in our house, and it hit our other son on his ear. The child who was hit cried from pain of being hit from above, and the child who was scolded for dropping the car started crying (I imagine) because he got into trouble. I had him apologize to his brother, because he hurt him. I know it was an accident. The one son was wrong in dropping the car. He didn't mean to hurt his brother, but his brother needed validation that he was wronged. Will his brother drop a car from the railing again? I don't know, and at his age, it's highly likely he will drop something again either trying to be cheeky, or just because he doesn't want to carry it down the stairs. I always make them say sorry regardless, and hope that after repeated reminders, it will become second nature for them when they know they were at fault. Hope that makes sense. You may disagree...
Take care, and thanks for your thoughtful comments.
-Christine
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