Thanks for this article, Darlene. I know first hand the pain of an unhealthy marriage. My first marriage was like this. Luckily we didn't have any children, and it only lasted 2 years before my husband told me he didn't love me and didn't think he ever really had (so what had we been doing for the past five years?). I honestly can tell you though that I knew the night of our wedding that something was off. I knew in my heart he wasn't ready for marriage, and perhaps I wasn't either. I thought what we had was love, or something that could have grown into an enduring love. But factually, we were still trying to figure out life and what was important to us. There were some events the second year of our marriage that opened my eyes to what was going on, and the final straw was simply me breaking down in tears over seemingly nothing--I knew at that moment I couldn't go on pretending we would get past our problems. In hindsight, I would've handled it differently, but at that time I just wanted out when I knew the inevitable. I made some bad financial decisions following our break-up, but trading in the marriage sedan for a new sports coupe and brand new apartment I could barely afford were meant to make me feel better. It worked, but I could've been more practical. Live and learn. We got an "easy" paralegal paperwork divorce and only had to go to court for the final decree ten months later. I still miss some things about my ex-husband (memories come to me in blips), but I do not miss the pain and low self-esteem. Oh, the things we put ourselves through.
Your article was raw and brave. I hope you are in a much better place now, like I am. I look forward to your follow-up articles.
-Christine
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Thanks for this article, Darlene. I know first hand the pain of an unhealthy marriage. My first marriage was like this. Luckily we didn't have any children, and it only lasted 2 years before my husband told me he didn't love me and didn't think he ever really had (so what had we been doing for the past five years?). I honestly can tell you though that I knew the night of our wedding that something was off. I knew in my heart he wasn't ready for marriage, and perhaps I wasn't either. I thought what we had was love, or something that could have grown into an enduring love. But factually, we were still trying to figure out life and what was important to us. There were some events the second year of our marriage that opened my eyes to what was going on, and the final straw was simply me breaking down in tears over seemingly nothing--I knew at that moment I couldn't go on pretending we would get past our problems. In hindsight, I would've handled it differently, but at that time I just wanted out when I knew the inevitable. I made some bad financial decisions following our break-up, but trading in the marriage sedan for a new sports coupe and brand new apartment I could barely afford were meant to make me feel better. It worked, but I could've been more practical. Live and learn. We got an "easy" paralegal paperwork divorce and only had to go to court for the final decree ten months later. I still miss some things about my ex-husband (memories come to me in blips), but I do not miss the pain and low self-esteem. Oh, the things we put ourselves through.
March 9, 2011 - 9:01amYour article was raw and brave. I hope you are in a much better place now, like I am. I look forward to your follow-up articles.
-Christine
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