Stop apologizing. You likely were really hurt and feeling abandoned and that is why you said it. You both are valid for how you are feeling. This whole marriage and parenthood thing likely isn't how you thought it would be. It's hard...really hard. But you two need to form a united front. Put away past hurts, and forge a new frontier of being together and caring for your daughter. I know it can be hard to get past these things. If you want to be with him, you can't stop caring. You may instead need to start focusing on what's good, and ask for help if you need it. Be non-threatening, and as loving a partner as much as you can. If you are struggling, tell him. If you are disappointed, tell him. If parenting and marriage isn't what you thought it would be like, tell him. At the end of the day, you both have a responsibility to your daughter, and to each other. If you need time away, schedule that. If he does, schedule that, and let him have it. You both likely will be happier if you work together at this. Again, I'm not a therapist, but I've been there, and have had counseling for PPD. It's just my suggestions. I know it's hard to see it when you're in the thick of it. And getting past it is often easier said than done--it takes time and healing. Get the help you need from doctors and therapists if you are able. Every bit helps in my opinion. If you're healthy, it can make everything else easier too. You've got to do what works for you and your family.
Take care,
Christine
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Stop apologizing. You likely were really hurt and feeling abandoned and that is why you said it. You both are valid for how you are feeling. This whole marriage and parenthood thing likely isn't how you thought it would be. It's hard...really hard. But you two need to form a united front. Put away past hurts, and forge a new frontier of being together and caring for your daughter. I know it can be hard to get past these things. If you want to be with him, you can't stop caring. You may instead need to start focusing on what's good, and ask for help if you need it. Be non-threatening, and as loving a partner as much as you can. If you are struggling, tell him. If you are disappointed, tell him. If parenting and marriage isn't what you thought it would be like, tell him. At the end of the day, you both have a responsibility to your daughter, and to each other. If you need time away, schedule that. If he does, schedule that, and let him have it. You both likely will be happier if you work together at this. Again, I'm not a therapist, but I've been there, and have had counseling for PPD. It's just my suggestions. I know it's hard to see it when you're in the thick of it. And getting past it is often easier said than done--it takes time and healing. Get the help you need from doctors and therapists if you are able. Every bit helps in my opinion. If you're healthy, it can make everything else easier too. You've got to do what works for you and your family.
March 21, 2011 - 8:24amTake care,
Christine
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