After re-reading your question, I wanted to add a few other thoughts (in addition to the other information provided in the links above):
Pain during first intercourse should not be intense enough that you have to brace yourself and not be able to have sex. First intercourse may be uncomfortable, but if the pain is intolerable, there is something else wrong. Here are a few reasons for pain with intercourse (that is unbearable):
a). Medical condition. You said you have been checked by a gynecologist, but I am questioning if you should have a second opinion. A gynecologist who suggests surgery, without providing you with more information, is suspect to me. If you have a vagina that does not naturally open, you would also have trouble with child-bearing and other issues. If you received a diagnosis of a medical condition, then I could see your Gyn recommending surgery. If you do not have a medical condition, I would question any Gyn who would suggest surgery. Is the Gyn able to insert a speculum into your vagina?
b). Foreplay is important. You said your husband is loving, but is he gentle with your body, is he patient with foreplay? Do you become self-lubricated (vaginally), as if you are not self-lubricating, it would not matter how big or small your vaginal opening is...intercourse would hurt.
c) If your Gyn can insert a speculum into your vagina without pain, if you trust your Gyn and have no medical conditions, and if you are appropriately "wet" (self-lubricated) in your vagina, and if your husband takes his time with foreplay, is gentle with your body and you are highly sexually aroused but still find sex painful, then you have a few choices you can make:
First choice: are you finding the actual act of penetration painful? if so, has your husband inserted a finger successfully (without pain)? If yes, you can both read some books on "how to" have sex pleasurably.
Second choice: if you are experiencing just the FEAR of pain (and not sure if you even have pain with intercourse, because you have not gone this far), I would highly recommend talking with a Counselor who specializes in sexual counseling. If you need to overcome fear of pain, a psychologist is the best person who can help you through this, once all the other options above have been explored.
What are your thoughts on all of this information?
Comment Reply
After re-reading your question, I wanted to add a few other thoughts (in addition to the other information provided in the links above):
Pain during first intercourse should not be intense enough that you have to brace yourself and not be able to have sex. First intercourse may be uncomfortable, but if the pain is intolerable, there is something else wrong. Here are a few reasons for pain with intercourse (that is unbearable):
a). Medical condition. You said you have been checked by a gynecologist, but I am questioning if you should have a second opinion. A gynecologist who suggests surgery, without providing you with more information, is suspect to me. If you have a vagina that does not naturally open, you would also have trouble with child-bearing and other issues. If you received a diagnosis of a medical condition, then I could see your Gyn recommending surgery. If you do not have a medical condition, I would question any Gyn who would suggest surgery. Is the Gyn able to insert a speculum into your vagina?
b). Foreplay is important. You said your husband is loving, but is he gentle with your body, is he patient with foreplay? Do you become self-lubricated (vaginally), as if you are not self-lubricating, it would not matter how big or small your vaginal opening is...intercourse would hurt.
c) If your Gyn can insert a speculum into your vagina without pain, if you trust your Gyn and have no medical conditions, and if you are appropriately "wet" (self-lubricated) in your vagina, and if your husband takes his time with foreplay, is gentle with your body and you are highly sexually aroused but still find sex painful, then you have a few choices you can make:
First choice: are you finding the actual act of penetration painful? if so, has your husband inserted a finger successfully (without pain)? If yes, you can both read some books on "how to" have sex pleasurably.
Second choice: if you are experiencing just the FEAR of pain (and not sure if you even have pain with intercourse, because you have not gone this far), I would highly recommend talking with a Counselor who specializes in sexual counseling. If you need to overcome fear of pain, a psychologist is the best person who can help you through this, once all the other options above have been explored.
What are your thoughts on all of this information?
March 17, 2011 - 10:54amThis Comment
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