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I have an agreement with my boyfriend: He can watch porn but he cannot touch himself, I fondle and masturbate him (which I love to do), while he does the same to me. He has both of his hands free because It`s either a slide show or a video, only occasionally he has to use the mouse. I`m usually not watching, I concentrate on him and I`m not jealous, because the girls won`t jump out of the video to grab him. We love each other, but that`s the only way he gets pleasure with me, and I wish it could be different. To make it clear: It`s always masturbation, no penetration. With penetration he loses his erection in less than one minute, so he never had an orgasm inside me. We are both 18, we have been best friends for 10 years now, and I hate the fact that he became addicted to porn by that long (since 8 years old!), and worse: because of my older brothers. His sisters told me that my brothers (aged 9 and 10) showed him how to look for porn in the internet, and our families never controlled us on that mater. Now we are 18 and studying on the same university, same course, and besides we already working and living together, so no one can control us now, but I keep thinking: Why was it ok for him to watch porn but not ok for us to learn how to have sexual pleasure with one another when we were 8 years old? Maybe that`s the problem: It`s very very simple to find porn and find privacy to watch it even at 8 years old, but not to find a decent partner for sex at any age. There are researches that indicate that 30% of male college students will never ever have a sexual partner. That`s why we are having the problems we are having now. The way I see it, my boyfriend should not be addicted to porn since he was 8, he should be addicted to me, but did we have a choice? Now we have a situation where the nicest guy in the world can`t have sex with his girlfriend. By the way, it took me 60 days to learn how to give him pleasure, we almost gave up trying. In the first 15 days he would not even have an erection, at one point he said that If I depended on giving a proper hand job to have a meal I would starve to death. It was very difficult for me to learn it, many times he said that I was hurting him, but he kept to his word and never touched himself, and after two months without having an orgasm I think even a grinder would give him one. Now he has at least one every day, for the last 6 months. I don`t know if I can take this situation forever, but at least he`s not having pleasure alone anymore. And again, it has nothing to do with jealousy; I just want things to be different. My last word: He`s messed up, but he`s “my” messed up. I will never give up on him, ever.

July 8, 2017 - 4:26pm


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