I have a similar story, My Mom always loved me, but didnt ever want to be a mother, so she left when i was a young child with my dad. He was a decent father, but he was addicted to drugs and would beat us when he was high. I also have a boyfriend of 5 years that i take out my anger on and say things that i dont mean. But he has been very patient and i have gotten so much better, i am still angry but i get better every day as i get older. You learn to forgive your parents, and learn what kind of person you want to be. Usually parents are only really important for the first 18 years then your left to figure it out for the next 60 years. Use your parents mistakes as a learning tool, to create the beautiful person you can become, if you have the determination to never be that way, you will over come it and be much more confident knowing you grew and got strong despite the bad hand you've been delt.