You are not a fool to believe in change, miracles and love, but you are wise to educate yourself on the necessary process of healing. The average victim of abuse will go back 7 or 8 times before she has the courage to stay away for good or is dead. It sounds like you may be dealing with more than emotional abuse. Couples therapy is not appropriate until both of you get help individually. The cycle of abuse must be broken. I stayed 17 years in my marriage because he never hit me. I also didn't understand the cycle of abuse so every time we went back into the honeymoon stage, I thought things were really getting better. I am so proud of you for recognizing the danger and getting out so soon. My children are 9 and 12 and have been through so much. They are depressed, confused and angry but we are healing. I too hope for my husband to change. My pastor has told me that my husband must demonstrate change over a period of five to seven years before I should attempt to go back. Words mean nothing from an abuser. You must see him getting therapy, being financially responsible in providing for you and truly owning his issues. I hope this helps. Stay strong. I can relate to your pain.
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You are not a fool to believe in change, miracles and love, but you are wise to educate yourself on the necessary process of healing. The average victim of abuse will go back 7 or 8 times before she has the courage to stay away for good or is dead. It sounds like you may be dealing with more than emotional abuse. Couples therapy is not appropriate until both of you get help individually. The cycle of abuse must be broken. I stayed 17 years in my marriage because he never hit me. I also didn't understand the cycle of abuse so every time we went back into the honeymoon stage, I thought things were really getting better. I am so proud of you for recognizing the danger and getting out so soon. My children are 9 and 12 and have been through so much. They are depressed, confused and angry but we are healing. I too hope for my husband to change. My pastor has told me that my husband must demonstrate change over a period of five to seven years before I should attempt to go back. Words mean nothing from an abuser. You must see him getting therapy, being financially responsible in providing for you and truly owning his issues. I hope this helps. Stay strong. I can relate to your pain.
January 1, 2015 - 2:00pmThis Comment
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