Is it possible that you just imagined it, as his therapist says? No. What is completely possible is that your husband has completely manipulated the therapist. Someone like this, as I've described in this article, is a master manipulator. They make it appear to all the world that everything is normal and happy and everything negative about the relationship is just something you've concocted.
This is why I laugh at some people who suggest marital counselling. I'm like, "No, you don't understand. No amount of counselling will be able to get him to see what he's doing." It's impossible to get a truly self-referenced person to see anything from someone else's perspective. They will project the kind of image they want everybody to see, create their own version of the truth and believe it without having the capacity to understand that their truth isn't what everybody else sees and someone as important in their life as their wife has a very valid perspective on the dimensions of the marital relationship. That not everything is as rosy as he paints it. A normal guy would hear his wife's opinion and be very sorry for having created those feelings and strive to change whatever his role has been in creating that environment ... not painting over it by saying, "Oh, it's really not THAT bad."
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Is it possible that you just imagined it, as his therapist says? No. What is completely possible is that your husband has completely manipulated the therapist. Someone like this, as I've described in this article, is a master manipulator. They make it appear to all the world that everything is normal and happy and everything negative about the relationship is just something you've concocted.
This is why I laugh at some people who suggest marital counselling. I'm like, "No, you don't understand. No amount of counselling will be able to get him to see what he's doing." It's impossible to get a truly self-referenced person to see anything from someone else's perspective. They will project the kind of image they want everybody to see, create their own version of the truth and believe it without having the capacity to understand that their truth isn't what everybody else sees and someone as important in their life as their wife has a very valid perspective on the dimensions of the marital relationship. That not everything is as rosy as he paints it. A normal guy would hear his wife's opinion and be very sorry for having created those feelings and strive to change whatever his role has been in creating that environment ... not painting over it by saying, "Oh, it's really not THAT bad."
March 13, 2015 - 9:37amThis Comment
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