I, too am waking up to the fact that I am married to a narcissist woman how has emotionally abused me for 12 years of marriage. She knows I hate divorce and fear being alone. In the last year my father passed away, a close friend, and the family dog. Knowing I am more vulnerable than ever, she has drastically intensified her efforts in controlling me and making me reliant solely on her for emotional support. Amazing that someone would use this sorrowful time to further seat their control over you rather than just loving you.
Weekly, I get the cold treatment (not talking to me or answering calls, texts,etc. for a minor disagreement, always started or instigated with her). Lasts for two to three days, and I am the one who has to press to break the ice with humor or love,etc. The word sorry hardly ever passes her lips. If and when it does the word "but" is right behind it...
I have been out of work, so I am reminded of this all the time. Yet she doesn't contribute much to the household, I am doing odd jobs, selling assets,etc to pay 90% of the household bills. It is a struggle, but have managed to keep my credit rating stable and my head above water. I have tried to discuss her behaviors (non-critically) with her and suggested joint counseling, always to be told that she is fine- I just make her angry and I need to learn to stop that.I am filing for divorce and am renewing friendships that she helped drive apart. I will need the support as I am fighting depression from this and do not desire to be alone in my early fifties, but i will deal with it. Recently she made comments that are very clear that she will possibly do physical harm to me or us. (she was actually rather clear on this. I am sure if I confront her with what she said, she would gaslight it, denying it or writing it off as anger or a joke)
This was new, and what helped make this difficult decision for me.
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I, too am waking up to the fact that I am married to a narcissist woman how has emotionally abused me for 12 years of marriage. She knows I hate divorce and fear being alone. In the last year my father passed away, a close friend, and the family dog. Knowing I am more vulnerable than ever, she has drastically intensified her efforts in controlling me and making me reliant solely on her for emotional support. Amazing that someone would use this sorrowful time to further seat their control over you rather than just loving you.
July 24, 2015 - 11:53amWeekly, I get the cold treatment (not talking to me or answering calls, texts,etc. for a minor disagreement, always started or instigated with her). Lasts for two to three days, and I am the one who has to press to break the ice with humor or love,etc. The word sorry hardly ever passes her lips. If and when it does the word "but" is right behind it...
I have been out of work, so I am reminded of this all the time. Yet she doesn't contribute much to the household, I am doing odd jobs, selling assets,etc to pay 90% of the household bills. It is a struggle, but have managed to keep my credit rating stable and my head above water. I have tried to discuss her behaviors (non-critically) with her and suggested joint counseling, always to be told that she is fine- I just make her angry and I need to learn to stop that.I am filing for divorce and am renewing friendships that she helped drive apart. I will need the support as I am fighting depression from this and do not desire to be alone in my early fifties, but i will deal with it. Recently she made comments that are very clear that she will possibly do physical harm to me or us. (she was actually rather clear on this. I am sure if I confront her with what she said, she would gaslight it, denying it or writing it off as anger or a joke)
This was new, and what helped make this difficult decision for me.
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