Help.I am so glad that I found this page. I have been with my husband 10 years and I have never felt so mistreated and so low in my life.I have become a shadow of who I once was but am still holding onto a very tiny piece of myself with all of my might. I have been through infidelity, physical abuse only twice(breaking my ribs one time) but that was 6 years ago, and a severe mental breakdown that put me on disability and kept me in the hospital (mental) 12 times in 2 years. I haven't been in the hospital since 2012 but I feel myself on the brink of a breakdown again all whilst really trying to hang on to myself and not completely lose me in it all. He is a very controlling husband in a passive aggressive way. He has allowed me to pay all of our bills for all of these years and since 2009 it has been a disability check....but not because he doesn't make any money. He makes almost 700.00 a week and I am not allowed to ask for money...he used to give me a small allowance a week(under 100) and that was supposed to buy any and everything for the household, gas,groceries,medicine,anything....but only gave when he wanted and never if I needed, even if I need groceries, he will eat somewhere else and take his clothes somewhere else to wash and all so he can say these are my bills not his(my house).If I ever ever ask for anything then that makes my wait period longer if he decides to give.If I leave home even to go to see my grown children for an hour he will leave home to control me into coming home, he snatches my wedding ring off my finger for weeks at a time because he says I don't deserve it, he gives me silent treatment for days on end and I never even know the reason why. He has pushed my family away,I have no friends as anytime I would speak to or meet up for lunch with one he would leave me...so I was always making excuses as to why I couldn't go somewhere until no one talks to me anymore. I can't use my phone or laptop even just for researching because I always have to be doing something wrong and we have to argue about it so Ive learned to never pull them out when he is home. I have 3 dogs 2 I have had the entire time we have been together and 1 he gave me and brought in the house 3 years ago.And now all of a sudden the past 6 months or so he has argued with me Everyday about how he cant stand the dogs and they are nasty(and which is a lie I am OCD and my house is spotless) and he wants me to get rid of or euthanize them. As a matter of fact the past 3 nights he has slept in the living room and not spoken to me and when I tried to tell him how hurt and could he just come to bed he tells me he cant stand my dogs anymore(EXCUSES and control) and those dogs are the only happiness I have in this house and seem to love me more than him anyway so I refuse to budge on this issue but it keeps me confined as I'm even scared to go to the store or leave with the threat of him harming or taking my animals, because he did take one of them before to be cruel(remember, he hates them)I am struggling so hard with this as I am trying to live a life pleasing to God and I don't know what to do. I know God is against divorce and I made vows...I have prayed for him, for me, for us and have been the best wife and step mother to his kids that I know how to be. I cannot say anything indisagreement to him or he leaves or threatens to leave me and when he does it stresses me so and he even takes my clothes(that he did not buy). But everyone he knows loves him and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread. He is very charming, nice to others and lies and tells everyone that he has such a hard time because I refuse to help him and that he pays all the bills and that is much untruth. I thought a husband was supposed to be a partner, a best friend but I feel like he is my complete enemy as I hear him talking about how not good of a wife I am to other people. I am in such turmoil. I am a good wife, I do get a disability check but he makes me feel worthless.I keep a very clean house and cook a 5 course dinner everyday, mind you if I don't fix his plate he will not even eat. If we have sex one time a day he talks bad to me about it about how he is so displeased that is all he gets that he don't want it one time,he wants it 4 times. I am completely worn out emotionally and physically by this man and he has beaten me down so that I don't even know how to leave or make him leave, the confrontation is something I fear deeply.. I pray everyday that IF this is not what God has for me that he will take it away in whatever form he sees fit, I truly don't know how much longer I can take this. As I am writing this he is packing things and leaving me, again(although he wont really leave or he will be back and I will feel threatened to open the door for him. I know theres probably no one that can help me but I had to get this off my chest...so I am daily believing that God will help me just because I believe and have hope in a better life for me. This somehow made me feel better just to release this to you all in conversation if even just for a moment.Thank you for taking the time to read.
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Help.I am so glad that I found this page. I have been with my husband 10 years and I have never felt so mistreated and so low in my life.I have become a shadow of who I once was but am still holding onto a very tiny piece of myself with all of my might. I have been through infidelity, physical abuse only twice(breaking my ribs one time) but that was 6 years ago, and a severe mental breakdown that put me on disability and kept me in the hospital (mental) 12 times in 2 years. I haven't been in the hospital since 2012 but I feel myself on the brink of a breakdown again all whilst really trying to hang on to myself and not completely lose me in it all. He is a very controlling husband in a passive aggressive way. He has allowed me to pay all of our bills for all of these years and since 2009 it has been a disability check....but not because he doesn't make any money. He makes almost 700.00 a week and I am not allowed to ask for money...he used to give me a small allowance a week(under 100) and that was supposed to buy any and everything for the household, gas,groceries,medicine,anything....but only gave when he wanted and never if I needed, even if I need groceries, he will eat somewhere else and take his clothes somewhere else to wash and all so he can say these are my bills not his(my house).If I ever ever ask for anything then that makes my wait period longer if he decides to give.If I leave home even to go to see my grown children for an hour he will leave home to control me into coming home, he snatches my wedding ring off my finger for weeks at a time because he says I don't deserve it, he gives me silent treatment for days on end and I never even know the reason why. He has pushed my family away,I have no friends as anytime I would speak to or meet up for lunch with one he would leave me...so I was always making excuses as to why I couldn't go somewhere until no one talks to me anymore. I can't use my phone or laptop even just for researching because I always have to be doing something wrong and we have to argue about it so Ive learned to never pull them out when he is home. I have 3 dogs 2 I have had the entire time we have been together and 1 he gave me and brought in the house 3 years ago.And now all of a sudden the past 6 months or so he has argued with me Everyday about how he cant stand the dogs and they are nasty(and which is a lie I am OCD and my house is spotless) and he wants me to get rid of or euthanize them. As a matter of fact the past 3 nights he has slept in the living room and not spoken to me and when I tried to tell him how hurt and could he just come to bed he tells me he cant stand my dogs anymore(EXCUSES and control) and those dogs are the only happiness I have in this house and seem to love me more than him anyway so I refuse to budge on this issue but it keeps me confined as I'm even scared to go to the store or leave with the threat of him harming or taking my animals, because he did take one of them before to be cruel(remember, he hates them)I am struggling so hard with this as I am trying to live a life pleasing to God and I don't know what to do. I know God is against divorce and I made vows...I have prayed for him, for me, for us and have been the best wife and step mother to his kids that I know how to be. I cannot say anything indisagreement to him or he leaves or threatens to leave me and when he does it stresses me so and he even takes my clothes(that he did not buy). But everyone he knows loves him and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread. He is very charming, nice to others and lies and tells everyone that he has such a hard time because I refuse to help him and that he pays all the bills and that is much untruth. I thought a husband was supposed to be a partner, a best friend but I feel like he is my complete enemy as I hear him talking about how not good of a wife I am to other people. I am in such turmoil. I am a good wife, I do get a disability check but he makes me feel worthless.I keep a very clean house and cook a 5 course dinner everyday, mind you if I don't fix his plate he will not even eat. If we have sex one time a day he talks bad to me about it about how he is so displeased that is all he gets that he don't want it one time,he wants it 4 times. I am completely worn out emotionally and physically by this man and he has beaten me down so that I don't even know how to leave or make him leave, the confrontation is something I fear deeply.. I pray everyday that IF this is not what God has for me that he will take it away in whatever form he sees fit, I truly don't know how much longer I can take this. As I am writing this he is packing things and leaving me, again(although he wont really leave or he will be back and I will feel threatened to open the door for him. I know theres probably no one that can help me but I had to get this off my chest...so I am daily believing that God will help me just because I believe and have hope in a better life for me. This somehow made me feel better just to release this to you all in conversation if even just for a moment.Thank you for taking the time to read.
January 1, 2016 - 1:20pmThis Comment
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