I'm not sure I'm in a mentally abusive situation either, and if I am, there isn't much I can do about it...honestly...and he knows it. My husband admits that he controls certain situations for the good of our marriage and 5 children. I mean there is so much through the last 10 yrs. that seems off or unfair and I could probably write pages about it all. There again, he is a great provider. And he's not always mean or rude...everything is usually fine as long as he gets what he wants when he wants it and how he wants it. I never know what kind of mood he's going to be in and I feel like there is a lot of "do as I say do not as I do." Anyway, we split up once and he was so sweet. Cards and flowers everyday, he looked miserable. Of course I went back and it was months of mental and emotional torture. Now, I have no family to back me up or take me in, no smart phone, no internet in the house, 5 kids and a lot of mutual debt, living in rural redneck USA where everyone knows everyone. I work but not for much money...what can I really do?