i have been with my husband for 8 years. we have had our fair share of good times but in between is so many bad. my husband every day accuses me of cheating on him every single day. with people at work people at the store anyone who comes in contact with me he even stoops to women. he has been physically abusive towards me not going to lie i try to fight back. he is just so much stronger.i have had to hide bruises on my face at work before feeling very ashamed. he is very controlling he needs to know where i am and what i am doing at all times if i dont answer him when i am at work as a nurse aide he will call my work. he breaks my things when he is mad all the time straightners movies things from my parents pours my perfume out breaks my lotion bottles. he controls all the money i have to tell him when i spending money and ask him to buy stuff even tampons i bought them because i needed them and i was screamed at because it was not on my list.. he disrespects me in public and private and even in front of the kids he calls me fat stupid ugly all kinds of things and now they talk to me so bad. and he says its my fault because i dont discipline them and i try but how can i when they are so young and they are only doing what they are taught. i cant have any friends at all i had best friends when i was younger and i have to cut them off because they know my ex. but all his friends he can have including one who cheats on his girlfriend and one who slaps his girlfriend to the floor mind you he is like 6"5 and she is like 5 ft .i cant go see my family with out asking and he usually tells me no i cant go see them anyways so i just give up on making plans with anyone and just make excuses. i am so depressed and i feel like i cant go on like this in life anymore. i dont know what to do. i am a christian and in the bible the only reason god permits you to leave your husband is infidelity. so its making it hard for me to leave but i cant help but feel God didnt plan this horrible life for me. i am a good person and i havent done anything so bad in life to deserve this and i cant help but feel itsmy fault for all of this. and as crazy as it sounds i do love my husband i couldnt picture my life with out him or another man with me. i dont know if its like stockholm syndrome or what but i hate this so bad and i am so tired of being miserable.