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(reply to Anonymous)

I have so much to share that I don't know where to start. But let's start with the key to all of this and the most important and alarming aspect of your note - you are being physically abused. This is a line that few cross and when they do, this rarely (!!!) subsides and it's dangerous, scary and completely unacceptable. We don't hit people to manage ourselves. Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning you 'feel' something first (i.e. disrespect, taken advantage of, etc.) and then you get angry. So your significant other is using you to manage his anger and that is why the other aspects of his controlling nature (the belittling, etc.) continue, and none of this is going to go away on it's own. Take the money, the house and the unkept promises and put them aside - this is not a healthy relationship and the abuse will continue to escalate, however it plays out. Instead of marriage counselors, head to a therapist just for you and get to work on realizing that you are not bad, crazy, unacceptable, demanding or anything else - you are trying to squeak out a voice in a controlling relationship and the HARDEST aspect to all of this is that the only one who can change this is you. We teach people how to treat us and the day you say 'no thank you, that's enough' is the day you will begin your new path. Please please please be careful and the next time he abuses you, call the police and/or the National Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, both are available 24/7. There are laws to protect you and services that can help you and no, it's not dramatic to ask for help. I have some other resources if you want them, email me at [email protected] And stay safe. Sending you a hug.

August 30, 2017 - 10:10am


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