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Anonymous

Every day, I ask God to forgive me for not waiting for my true soul mate. I met my husband at the age of 27yr. and am now 38yr. with four years of marriage. I am a Registered Nurse and he is a security guard which asked me to loan him money when we dated, so he can go to school for nursing. Immediately after marriage he began to use hurtful words like “your now old and no one want you anymore” and do many hurtful things. He made me sit in the back seat in the car so that his friend can sit up front. Opened doors for everyone but me. I told him this was wrong he said, "fine he won't do it again" but he did. He also immediately dropped out of college and brought three cars for himself, a Mercedes, a Lexus, and a truck. I am Christian and have been told that one should remain married unless there is abuse or under certain conditions cheating. About two years ago he made me give up my seat in a public place for a girl in her twenties. She actually laughed at me for this and that may be the moment I began to be extremely disgusted and lose any love for him. I told him that I will not file for a divorce since I am Christian but that I wanted to live separate from him because I can no longer stand the site of him. He cried hard and swore he would change. He is now a lot better, but I told him that I have fallen out of love with him and now see him differently. He now does things like open doors for me and go to church with me. The one important thing I have not mentioned is that we have only been through foreplay all the years we known each other. He said he is too scared that he will hurt me with penetrating sex. My mom swears that I am messed up in the head by now and that he is probably cheating and gay. Every day, I have prayed that God separate us somehow or help me to actually want him. I know something is wrong with me, but I haven't brought myself to the point of looking for a counselor. I need help.

December 13, 2017 - 12:18am

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