Sometimes when controlling people/abusers get comfortable, the gloves come off and they begin their dance of manipulation. This happened to me and sounds like it has happened to you. Honestly, there were signs I ignored when I was dating my ex but I knew that I loved him and could fix him. But that is not our role, to fix others. That is their journey. The problem is that you are not going to be able to love him out of this, or change or plead or anything - nothing you do will change his behavior and the cycle of abuse will only shorten. If you are ending up in the emergency room, things have escalated from awful to dangerous. I wouldn't worry about what he says will 'happen to you' if you leave or divorce, that is another means of manipulation to get you to stay and to keep you fearful. Please Please Please get some counseling and help and get out. Those kids are learning how to hurt others by watching him and learning how to be submissive by watching you. Contact www.thehotline.org for free help and support, call them at 1-800-799-7233 for help and get moving. Time is a wasting and it's time to move along, do this for you, for your children and for future generations to follow. I have some resources if you need them, email me at [email protected] Please be safe. Please leave. Sending hugs.