Thank you for writing. I can only imagine your horror when you found his device and saw what you saw.
However, you created your own options by exposing him so publicly to friends and family. I'm sure it felt good at the time but "revenge is a dish best served cold" - meaning what feels good in the heat of the moment usually comes back to bite you.
He is probably too embarrassed to even see anyone and despite what he has done, I hope he doesn't harm himself - such a public exposure can make this happen. He's still the father to your children and they love him no matter what.
My advice is to reach out to him to sort out the future. Be calm. You're not married (a fiance of 5 years may have been a message to you that you didn't pick up) so the split may be easier. Sort out custody and money/housing issues
. Get yourself checked out - health-wise, who knows what you have been exposed to - that's important.
And when you are feeling stronger - you may want to apologize to his family. You dragged them into something they had no part of, because the revenge felt good at the time. But it may have devastated them. As angry as you were, that was wrong. People shouldn't be forced into your relationship, nor exposed to his sexual exploits that way. Speaking privately to his grandmother would have been better.
Life isn't a dramatic reality show - you have young children. Keep your dignity and stay calm. Put your kids first.
I am very sorry this happened to you; your boyfriend has behaved so dishonestly and disgustingly to you, as well as put your health in danger. Stay as calm as you can and form a plan.
Best,
Susan
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Hello Anon
Thank you for writing. I can only imagine your horror when you found his device and saw what you saw.
However, you created your own options by exposing him so publicly to friends and family. I'm sure it felt good at the time but "revenge is a dish best served cold" - meaning what feels good in the heat of the moment usually comes back to bite you.
He is probably too embarrassed to even see anyone and despite what he has done, I hope he doesn't harm himself - such a public exposure can make this happen. He's still the father to your children and they love him no matter what.
My advice is to reach out to him to sort out the future. Be calm. You're not married (a fiance of 5 years may have been a message to you that you didn't pick up) so the split may be easier. Sort out custody and money/housing issues
April 3, 2018 - 1:50pm. Get yourself checked out - health-wise, who knows what you have been exposed to - that's important.
And when you are feeling stronger - you may want to apologize to his family. You dragged them into something they had no part of, because the revenge felt good at the time. But it may have devastated them. As angry as you were, that was wrong. People shouldn't be forced into your relationship, nor exposed to his sexual exploits that way. Speaking privately to his grandmother would have been better.
Life isn't a dramatic reality show - you have young children. Keep your dignity and stay calm. Put your kids first.
I am very sorry this happened to you; your boyfriend has behaved so dishonestly and disgustingly to you, as well as put your health in danger. Stay as calm as you can and form a plan.
Best,
Susan
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