I am so sorry you are going through this. There are things that men do in relationships that I call "unforgivable"-- this is one of them. Not because it is the worst thing he could've done but because there is obviously more to it...like, how did he get these pictures? Why does he still have them? If he is hiding this, he's hiding something else (you also mentioned this wasn't the first time), and what bothers me the most is that he isn't man enough to admit he is wrong. Everyone has a past, but if that's the case then he wouldn't be turning the tables on you and making it seem as though you're in the wrong. And to be frank, past or not those pictures should be long gone. Whether or not you forgive him is up to you, but as scared as you are to talk to him about it--you're going to have to. Bring it up at an appropriate time. If he quickly turns it on you then he's hiding something and it's your call on what to do next. For what it's worth my first boyfriend used to turn things on me all the time-- it was so frustrating and hurtful-- turns out he was cheating on me. So, to me, turning things around is an immature cop out because he's getting caught. If you want to be happy in a marriage or relationship, there MUST be trust, it doesn't sound like there ever will be in your relationship--so, the choice is yours.
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Confused12,
I am so sorry you are going through this. There are things that men do in relationships that I call "unforgivable"-- this is one of them. Not because it is the worst thing he could've done but because there is obviously more to it...like, how did he get these pictures? Why does he still have them? If he is hiding this, he's hiding something else (you also mentioned this wasn't the first time), and what bothers me the most is that he isn't man enough to admit he is wrong. Everyone has a past, but if that's the case then he wouldn't be turning the tables on you and making it seem as though you're in the wrong. And to be frank, past or not those pictures should be long gone. Whether or not you forgive him is up to you, but as scared as you are to talk to him about it--you're going to have to. Bring it up at an appropriate time. If he quickly turns it on you then he's hiding something and it's your call on what to do next. For what it's worth my first boyfriend used to turn things on me all the time-- it was so frustrating and hurtful-- turns out he was cheating on me. So, to me, turning things around is an immature cop out because he's getting caught. If you want to be happy in a marriage or relationship, there MUST be trust, it doesn't sound like there ever will be in your relationship--so, the choice is yours.
All the best,
Rosa
June 1, 2011 - 5:26amThis Comment
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