I had a question, could you perhaps tell me more about what you meant by "false feeling", I am still trying to figure out how my heart has been expounding its feelings towards both # 1 and #2.
For #1, his laugh used to make me crazy about him and his positive thoughts. We were childhood friends who just didn't see each other till our early 20s and (late 20s for him) but we scheduled our times just to talk to each other, hear each other's voices, and even lied to our parents so that we could meet in India in the summer. Every day before the breakup, I used to beg him to tell me what his plans were for us settling down.
#2, I met at this party, from the beginning he seemed to portray the person whom I had wanted and thought of. Their names were also similar if you can believe it and I share the name with his ex if you can believe it. Knowing his past and realizing that i wont accept it, he wanted to escape the relationship in the beginning but I kept to my word after learning the truth. It was a shock for him too that I accepted his past without any qualms. After my breakup had had happened with #1, I had honestly called him a lot begging him to change his mind but he thought I was happy wiht #2 and claimed that he had wanted to see me happy so he decided to move on instead of realizing that I had a world of feelings for him.
This summer then I spent a lot of time with #2 and was also intimate with him. The reason for breakup with #1 was also that I had been intimate with #1 and felt that he deserved better so I let go (but he never fought back as I had assumed he would do after all the promises of love we had made). When that happened, my heart shattered and I realized that perhaps with #2, maybe it was always meant to be so I was with him even after I realized his past. We have beautiful moments together and always share good thoughts and are compatible in thinking. But, his past always lingers around us.
I am not sure how strong my feelings are for #2 that #1 claims I had. I had spent last two days crying and feeling angry with the loss and feeling angry at myself for commiting for #1 when he was not even willing to fight for me when time came.
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I had a question, could you perhaps tell me more about what you meant by "false feeling", I am still trying to figure out how my heart has been expounding its feelings towards both # 1 and #2.
September 13, 2011 - 11:46amFor #1, his laugh used to make me crazy about him and his positive thoughts. We were childhood friends who just didn't see each other till our early 20s and (late 20s for him) but we scheduled our times just to talk to each other, hear each other's voices, and even lied to our parents so that we could meet in India in the summer. Every day before the breakup, I used to beg him to tell me what his plans were for us settling down.
#2, I met at this party, from the beginning he seemed to portray the person whom I had wanted and thought of. Their names were also similar if you can believe it and I share the name with his ex if you can believe it. Knowing his past and realizing that i wont accept it, he wanted to escape the relationship in the beginning but I kept to my word after learning the truth. It was a shock for him too that I accepted his past without any qualms. After my breakup had had happened with #1, I had honestly called him a lot begging him to change his mind but he thought I was happy wiht #2 and claimed that he had wanted to see me happy so he decided to move on instead of realizing that I had a world of feelings for him.
This summer then I spent a lot of time with #2 and was also intimate with him. The reason for breakup with #1 was also that I had been intimate with #1 and felt that he deserved better so I let go (but he never fought back as I had assumed he would do after all the promises of love we had made). When that happened, my heart shattered and I realized that perhaps with #2, maybe it was always meant to be so I was with him even after I realized his past. We have beautiful moments together and always share good thoughts and are compatible in thinking. But, his past always lingers around us.
I am not sure how strong my feelings are for #2 that #1 claims I had. I had spent last two days crying and feeling angry with the loss and feeling angry at myself for commiting for #1 when he was not even willing to fight for me when time came.
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