You said it yourself in your post. Clearly you're an amazing woman and you need to let that shine. Men love to see a woman who loves herself and knows how to enjoy life, that's what they find desirable. As far as the walls, sure, totally a scary thing...but think about it...if at some point we didn't build up those walls... we'd let anyone come charging at us... don't think of them so much as a bad thing..but rather your mind/body's natural survival and protecting your heart.
As far as venturing out to find other men... go out with several to test the waters. And not 'go over to their apartment and chill' make them work for you, a nice dinner, fun activity, etc and then leave. Just avoid the in-house hang outs and see who you connect the best with and have the most fun with and keep sex out of the picture. If you wait out the physical intimacy part for a bit...you'll be able to tell if a guy is after your heart and or just your body, if he wants both, he'll do what it takes to have you let him stick around.
best of luck :)