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Hi PowHerSLife,

Is your husband abusive (verbally or physically) when he drinks? How often does he drink? How much does he drink? None of these questions would be important if you had mentioned that you were getting a divorce because you were unhappy and did not love him. Instead you vaguely mentioned that he likes to drink and then you said that you love him.

If he likes to drink a couple of drinks per night and is not harming you or anyone else--then this could be worked on. If he drinks a bottle of Jack Daniel's every night and is verbally abusing you in the process then your health is also being affected. Even if he isn't abusing you and is drinking excessively every night, this can take a toll on you because it isn't a life you want to live. So, if this is the case, you need to decide if you are willing to work on this with him-- understand that for someone who is truly an alcoholic, this will be a very difficult process, mood changes may occur, and he may relapse a couple of times. It is also important that he realizes and accepts that he will be an alcoholic for life. It isn't something that you treat for 3 months and then say "I'm cured!" because 10 months down the line if you offer alcohol to a recovering-alcoholic who hasn't had a drink, then there will be a relapse.

For the time being, try to stay away and do your own thing--since you mention that your health improves when you don't speak with him. Let him SHOW you that he is a changed man. Talk is cheap and anyone can make promises that they don't intend to keep. When you have gone for months without seeing him, speaking to him, and actually seeing a changed man--then you could determine whether you want to give him another chance or whether you feel like you are better off without him.

Best of luck,


October 31, 2011 - 7:48am


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