Hi Ann,
Your blog, FB and Yelp accounts have kept me laughing, crying, and help encourage me. If we lived closer, I'm sure we'd be fast friends and would be meeting to eat at all the best restaurants in town.
Cancer has been a huge part of my life since 1996 and I want to assure you and others who have friends who disappear, the people who run away are running from the cancer, not from you.
You see, I've been a caregiver for several people with cancer. I've given 100% to 10% depeding on various factors.
With Mom, I was there from before diagnosis, urging her to get the biopsy, to being there for surgeries, radiation, chemo (they let me sit with her), doctor visits, shopping, etc,. Over 12 years, my babies grew up with me taking care of my mom (dad died 1 year before her diagnosis and mom didn't drive so you get one guess who the primary caregiver was). I loved my mom and treasured every minute with her, and was blessed to not have to work (thanks, hubby) and be able to help as needed, sometimes 24/7. My children accompanied mom and me to hospital waiting rooms, doctor visits, even chemo. Many times I was torn. Once, I was chastised by a police officer for trying to pass some cars in a funeral procession--I'd driven across Atlanta early one morning, after dropping the kids at mom's morning out, to take my mom to radiation. Traffic was horrible on the return trip, but I was still on time for pick-up. One mile from the preschool, traffic was stopped for a funeral procession. I had never been late, but knew the late fee was steep and the embarrassment factor was huge. I pulled up to the stop light and was chastised by the policeman who obviously didn't know or care that I'd spent my morning caring for my mom and had to get my children--he only knew I was trying to pass the procession. I was horrified. There were many times I had to choose who got my time, my kids or my mom. There were 12 years between diagnosis and passing, so my kids had a different childhood then I'd envisioned. Again, I treasured every minute with Mom; she was my best friend.
There have been other people, ranging from friends to family of friends, who have had various diagnoses, and I've helped as I could. A few years ago, one friend lost a son and while I helped organize meals, transportation, and lodging, my daughter was sick. It turned to pneumonia, and on the way to the doctor, I passed the cemetery where the graveside was taking place for her son.
About this time last year, I found your blog, via Twitter, about the time a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found such inspiration because you've helped me go back to reach those first impulses to respond with love and care. I have several people on CaringBridge, and only one is in remission and one has passed. It's grueling.
So, all this to say, be compassionate toward those who you feel have abandoned you. Maybe say a tiny little prayer for them. They may be praying for you and for whatever reason, maybe that is all they can do. I believe we will all know everything when it is our time, and until then, use your strength to heal. Think positive thoughts. Focus on life, love, and positive energy. Take huge, cleansing, peaceful breaths. Read anything by Dr. Bernie Siegel. He has a radio show, too. Google him.
The world needs you.
Peace, Marie
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Hi Ann,
Your blog, FB and Yelp accounts have kept me laughing, crying, and help encourage me. If we lived closer, I'm sure we'd be fast friends and would be meeting to eat at all the best restaurants in town.
Cancer has been a huge part of my life since 1996 and I want to assure you and others who have friends who disappear, the people who run away are running from the cancer, not from you.
You see, I've been a caregiver for several people with cancer. I've given 100% to 10% depeding on various factors.
With Mom, I was there from before diagnosis, urging her to get the biopsy, to being there for surgeries, radiation, chemo (they let me sit with her), doctor visits, shopping, etc,. Over 12 years, my babies grew up with me taking care of my mom (dad died 1 year before her diagnosis and mom didn't drive so you get one guess who the primary caregiver was). I loved my mom and treasured every minute with her, and was blessed to not have to work (thanks, hubby) and be able to help as needed, sometimes 24/7. My children accompanied mom and me to hospital waiting rooms, doctor visits, even chemo. Many times I was torn. Once, I was chastised by a police officer for trying to pass some cars in a funeral procession--I'd driven across Atlanta early one morning, after dropping the kids at mom's morning out, to take my mom to radiation. Traffic was horrible on the return trip, but I was still on time for pick-up. One mile from the preschool, traffic was stopped for a funeral procession. I had never been late, but knew the late fee was steep and the embarrassment factor was huge. I pulled up to the stop light and was chastised by the policeman who obviously didn't know or care that I'd spent my morning caring for my mom and had to get my children--he only knew I was trying to pass the procession. I was horrified. There were many times I had to choose who got my time, my kids or my mom. There were 12 years between diagnosis and passing, so my kids had a different childhood then I'd envisioned. Again, I treasured every minute with Mom; she was my best friend.
There have been other people, ranging from friends to family of friends, who have had various diagnoses, and I've helped as I could. A few years ago, one friend lost a son and while I helped organize meals, transportation, and lodging, my daughter was sick. It turned to pneumonia, and on the way to the doctor, I passed the cemetery where the graveside was taking place for her son.
About this time last year, I found your blog, via Twitter, about the time a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found such inspiration because you've helped me go back to reach those first impulses to respond with love and care. I have several people on CaringBridge, and only one is in remission and one has passed. It's grueling.
So, all this to say, be compassionate toward those who you feel have abandoned you. Maybe say a tiny little prayer for them. They may be praying for you and for whatever reason, maybe that is all they can do. I believe we will all know everything when it is our time, and until then, use your strength to heal. Think positive thoughts. Focus on life, love, and positive energy. Take huge, cleansing, peaceful breaths. Read anything by Dr. Bernie Siegel. He has a radio show, too. Google him.
November 25, 2011 - 7:48amThe world needs you.
Peace, Marie
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