Ily80, I know about as close as a person can how you feel... when I read your post I actually though maybe you were dating an ex of mine who has an eerily similar history and way of handling things. Since you wrote the post awhile ago, I am going to hope things have gotten better. However, if you're still stuck in the same quandary, here's how I see it:
-It is okay to want to lose weight to improve yourself, but it is NOT okay for him to make you feel bad about how you look.
This kind of emotional abuse and manipulation is so easy to buy into if you don't have a voice in the back of your head reminding you that this is HIS excuse, his externalization of his own insecurity. He can't cope with performance issues, so instead of dealing with it in an appropriate manner, he's taking it out on you. Shame on him.
It seems like he has made some effort to make things better, but if the two of you really want this to work, couples counseling may need to happen. Your situation is really too complex for you two to tackle without support from the other.
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Ily80, I know about as close as a person can how you feel... when I read your post I actually though maybe you were dating an ex of mine who has an eerily similar history and way of handling things. Since you wrote the post awhile ago, I am going to hope things have gotten better. However, if you're still stuck in the same quandary, here's how I see it:
-It is okay to want to lose weight to improve yourself, but it is NOT okay for him to make you feel bad about how you look.
This kind of emotional abuse and manipulation is so easy to buy into if you don't have a voice in the back of your head reminding you that this is HIS excuse, his externalization of his own insecurity. He can't cope with performance issues, so instead of dealing with it in an appropriate manner, he's taking it out on you. Shame on him.
It seems like he has made some effort to make things better, but if the two of you really want this to work, couples counseling may need to happen. Your situation is really too complex for you two to tackle without support from the other.
July 19, 2012 - 2:44pmThis Comment
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