"I also worry that the damage to my self-confidence in the bedroom (and as a woman) will be hard to repair. "
- Yes, hun, it will be. I went through the same problem for over a year (my new husband did not want to have sex). With my husband, it was a power play. Sex and money rule the world and he had both on his side. We separated after 11 months, but since have gotten back together and attempted to fix things best we could. He is now very interested in sex and so am I, of course, but I still won't initiate for fear of rejection. I just cannot handle him brushing me off even one more time. I'm sure he would not, considering his interest for the last year, but I cannot take that chance. My self esteem is shot and with that, came quite a bit of resentment. All those feelings of inadequacy and self blame have changed who I am, sadly. I'm working to get back to who I was or at least who I could be now, but it proves to be a long road.
I just wanted you to know that in my experience, it wasn't worth the wait. I love him very much but he caused a break that cannot be repaired. Not by him, anyway, though I would have sworn otherwise until recently.
I think someone else mentioned it, but my mother always tells me that if the bad times outweigh the good for a significant amount of time, walk away or prepare to live the way you are now .... miserable and desperate to feel accepted and wanted. Being alone would have been a much better option for me. It still may be.
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"I also worry that the damage to my self-confidence in the bedroom (and as a woman) will be hard to repair. "
- Yes, hun, it will be. I went through the same problem for over a year (my new husband did not want to have sex). With my husband, it was a power play. Sex and money rule the world and he had both on his side. We separated after 11 months, but since have gotten back together and attempted to fix things best we could. He is now very interested in sex and so am I, of course, but I still won't initiate for fear of rejection. I just cannot handle him brushing me off even one more time. I'm sure he would not, considering his interest for the last year, but I cannot take that chance. My self esteem is shot and with that, came quite a bit of resentment. All those feelings of inadequacy and self blame have changed who I am, sadly. I'm working to get back to who I was or at least who I could be now, but it proves to be a long road.
November 5, 2012 - 9:56amI just wanted you to know that in my experience, it wasn't worth the wait. I love him very much but he caused a break that cannot be repaired. Not by him, anyway, though I would have sworn otherwise until recently.
I think someone else mentioned it, but my mother always tells me that if the bad times outweigh the good for a significant amount of time, walk away or prepare to live the way you are now .... miserable and desperate to feel accepted and wanted. Being alone would have been a much better option for me. It still may be.
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